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Thread: Damn congessmen

  1. #1
    The Lostralian's Avatar
    The Lostralian is offline Fighting the battle
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    Damn congessmen

    A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW
    advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

    The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and
    asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have iou r herd, will you give me a calf?"

    The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers,
    "Sure, Why not?"

    The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone,
    and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix
    on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

    The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in
    Hamburg, Germany.

    Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the i mage has been processed and the data stored.

    He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his
    Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

    Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns
    to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

    "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.

    He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk
    of his car.

    Then the cowboy says to the young man,? "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me
    back my calf?"

    The young man thinks about it for a second and then says,? "Okay, why not?"

    You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.

    "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

    "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want
    to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter
    than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep.

    Now give me back my dog.
    Future Detective of The S.P.D
    Pride Integrity Gratitude

  2. #2
    Five-0's Avatar
    Five-0 is offline Super Moderator
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    That was just about right on.

    Meanwhile, fishing in Russia:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkzV5AIK8iM
    "When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men living together in society, they create for themselves in the course of time a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that justifies it." -- Frederic Bastiat

    "Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." Ernest Hemingway

    The opinions given in my signatures & threads DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Five-0" on Officerresource.com

 

 

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