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  1. #1
    Illiy is offline Corporal
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    Quiz.. Are you a Real Man?

    Quiz: Are you a Real Man?



    (1.) Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to:

    A. Present it to the President of the United States.
    B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
    C. Take it apart.

    (2.) As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?

    A. Innocence.
    B. Idealism.
    C. Cherry bombs.

    (3.) When is it okay to kiss another male?

    A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
    B. When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)
    C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsman-like way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed.

    (4.) What about hugging another male?

    A. If he's your father and at least one of you has a fatal disease.
    B. If you're performing the Heimlich maneuver.
    C. If you're a professional baseball player and a teammate its a home run to win the World Series, you may hug him provided that:
    He is legally within the base path, Both of you are wearing sufficient protection, and You also pound him fraternally with your fist hard enough to cause fractures.

    (5.) In your opinion, the ideal pet is:

    A. A cat.
    B. A dog.
    C. A dog that eats cats.

    (6.) You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football game; she's reading the papers. Suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, she tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of future together. What do you say?

    A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't want to rush it.
    B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
    C. That you cannot believe the Bears called a draw play on third and seventeen.

    (7.) Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her - sharing the joys and the sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?

    A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
    B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
    C. Tell her what?

    (8.) One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:

    A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
    B. "They're in school already?"
    C. "There are three of them?"

    (9.) When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?

    A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs.
    B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.
    C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody (and we are not naming names, but this would be his wife) is quietly trying to discard his underwear, which she is frankly jealous of, because the guy seems to have a more intimate relationship with it than with her.

    (10.) What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land?

    A. He was being tested.
    B. He refused to ask for directions.
    C. He wanted them to really appreciate the promised land by the time they got there.

    (11.) What is the human race's single greatest achievement?

    A. Democracy.
    B. Religion.
    C. Remote control.


    ****************************** *

    Note to women: All real men answer C to all of these questions. Knowing this, women will have come far in understanding men and enriching their own lives.
    FIGHT ON!


    Quote Originally Posted by Five-0 View Post
    When my kind come to rule this planet your name shall be put on a list, a protected list, and no harm shall come to you.

  2. #2
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    Are you Illiy?
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  3. #3
    Buttercup's Avatar
    Buttercup is offline Thrives in sunshine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Resident Smart Ass View Post
    Are you Illiy?
    That is so wrong.




  4. #4
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttercup View Post
    That is so wrong.
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  5. #5
    Pudge's Avatar
    Pudge is online now Site Admin
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    Just so you know, I didn't answer C on ALL of those, only most.
    "Like" us on facebook! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Offic...93147194083228

    Follow members of O/R as they tweet a "Ride a long" on their shifts on the front page of the site and on twitter at the following links:

    www.twitter.com/PoliceRideAlong
    www.twitter.com/lewisipso
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    www.twitter.com/SecondChance122
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    www.twitter.com/ORGIB

    The opinions given in my posts & threads DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Pudge" on Officerresource.com

  6. #6
    Illiy is offline Corporal
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    Quote Originally Posted by Resident Smart Ass View Post
    Are you Illiy?
    I think the real question is are you?
    FIGHT ON!


    Quote Originally Posted by Five-0 View Post
    When my kind come to rule this planet your name shall be put on a list, a protected list, and no harm shall come to you.

  7. #7
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    Quote Originally Posted by Illiy View Post
    I think the real question is are you?

    More than you can handle
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  8. #8
    Illiy is offline Corporal
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    Quote Originally Posted by Resident Smart Ass View Post
    More than you can handle
    FIGHT ON!


    Quote Originally Posted by Five-0 View Post
    When my kind come to rule this planet your name shall be put on a list, a protected list, and no harm shall come to you.

  9. #9
    Doc_Holliday's Avatar
    Doc_Holliday is offline California Dreaming...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Resident Smart Ass View Post
    More than you can handle
    is that because its hard to handle things on a microscopic level?
    500 fights, that's the number I figured when I was a kid. 500 street fights and you could consider yourself a legitimate tough guy. You need them for experience. To develop leather skin. So I got started. Of course along the way you stop thinking about being tough and all that. It stops being the point. You get past the silliness of it all. But then, after, you realize that's what you are.


  10. #10
    OffDuty's Avatar
    OffDuty is offline The Shotgun is Family.
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    Fine motor skills
    There are only two kinds of real justice left: street and poetic...


    Canada, huh? Almost made it...

    *DISCLAIMER*The opinions expressed here are my own delusions. My employer administraton would at best shake their heads and sigh; or at worst severely repudiate the content of these posts, should it ever manage to appear on their radar.

  11. #11
    adroitcuffs's Avatar
    adroitcuffs is offline Visualize whirled peas!!
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    Uh, what if a chick answers mostly "C"? ('Cept for the wifey questions, of course )
    The true measure of your character is what you choose to do when you think no one is looking.

    #5


    http://officerbob.memory-of.com/

 

 

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