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  1. 01-21-08, 05:29 PM #1
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    k-9max
    k-9max is offline K9 Officer
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    Hahaha, Made me think of beans

    While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco , a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquired, 'Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?' 'I'm listening to the music of the tree,' the other man replied. 'You've gotta be kiddin' me.' 'No, would you like to give it a try?'Understandably curious, the man says, 'Well, OK...' So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it. With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then stripped him naked and left. Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked, 'What the heck happened to you?' He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there. When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said, 'This just ain't gonna be your day, cupcake...'
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked,” Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!
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  2. 01-21-08, 05:32 PM #2
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    Beans
    Beans is offline Street Cop
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    Quote Originally Posted by k-9max View Post
    While walking through Golden Gate Park in San Francisco , a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquired, 'Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?' 'I'm listening to the music of the tree,' the other man replied. 'You've gotta be kiddin' me.' 'No, would you like to give it a try?'Understandably curious, the man says, 'Well, OK...' So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it. With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then stripped him naked and left. Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked, 'What the heck happened to you?' He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there. When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said, 'This just ain't gonna be your day, cupcake...'
    Shit, get handcuffed to a tree once and you never hear the end of it...geez.
    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Beans" on LEF.
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  3. 01-21-08, 06:00 PM #3
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    Ducky
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
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    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q

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  4. 01-21-08, 07:09 PM #4
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    Probation13-901 is offline Master Officer
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    lol........
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  5. 01-21-08, 07:50 PM #5
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    mack
    mack is offline Officer Resource Offical Auctioneer
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    Ha ha ha ha ha

    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter
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  6. 01-21-08, 11:07 PM #6
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    OffDuty
    OffDuty is offline The Shotgun is Family.
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    Was Beans the cop in that story about the young rookie who went to move the trashcan in the dark alley and became a poster child for victim rights?
    There are only two kinds of real justice left: street and poetic...
    Canada, huh? Almost made it...

     *DISCLAIMER*The opinions expressed here are my own delusions. My employer administraton would at best shake their heads and sigh; or at worst severely repudiate the content of these posts, should it ever manage to appear on their radar.
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  7. 01-22-08, 01:31 AM #7
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    k-9max
    k-9max is offline K9 Officer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beans View Post
    Shit, get handcuffed to a tree once and you never hear the end of it...geez.
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked,” Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  8. 01-22-08, 01:35 AM #8
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    armsmaster270
    armsmaster270 is offline Ret. Sac. P.D. - 270th M.P. Co., Now with D.H.S.
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    First mistake was being in Golden Gate Park.


    Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer. --Al Bundy

    http://www.armsmaster.net-a.googlepages.com
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  9. 01-22-08, 01:51 AM #9
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    Shoestring
    Shoestring is offline Please dont check the trunk...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beans View Post
    Shit, get handcuffed to a tree once and you never hear the end of it...geez.

    Hey Beans, let me guess that wasnt that last time either....
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  10. 01-22-08, 03:30 PM #10
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    Beans
    Beans is offline Street Cop
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shoestring View Post
    Hey Beans, let me guess that wasnt that last time either....
    Umm...yeah...it was...right!
    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Beans" on LEF.
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  11. 01-22-08, 09:29 PM #11
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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Shoestring
    Hey Beans, let me guess that wasnt that last time either....
    Quote Originally Posted by Beans View Post
    Umm...yeah...it was...right!
    Pictures?



    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif
    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown
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