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Thread: Are you Gay?

  1. #1
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    Are you Gay?

    1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
    It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent
    the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah
    diet.**

    2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but
    gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has
    a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And
    just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your
    ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come
    to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

    3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
    nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks
    on bar-B-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs
    feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a fag.

    4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in
    a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is
    his bathroom; he defecates and urinates wherever he pleases.

    5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man
    will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a Decaf Soy
    Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.

    6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or
    four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as
    well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space
    in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse
    or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type
    of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.

    7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying
    to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at
    a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs
    that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.*

    8 . If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list
    because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on
    the verge on being a fudgepacker.*
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  2. #2
    armsmaster270's Avatar
    armsmaster270 is offline Ret. Sac. P.D. - 270th M.P. Co., Now with D.H.S.
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    And you know from exprience?


    Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer. --Al Bundy

    http://www.armsmaster.net-a.googlepages.com

  3. #3
    Car 4's Avatar
    Car 4 is offline CID Chief
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    RSA....not gay this week but check with me next week....you never know....I might decide to switch hit.


    Car 4
    I would like my country back. I used to believe that one man could never destroy this country. Not so sure anymore!

  4. #4
    Big Al's Avatar
    Big Al is offline There is no place like home....
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    That my fellow O/R members was authored by one of the gayest members on this site.
    To be a good Law Enforcement Officer you MUST know the law!

  5. #5
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
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    Damn, no wonder women always lament that the good ones are either married or gay. (The married ones had it beaten out of them.)
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  6. #6
    Probation13-901's Avatar
    Probation13-901 is offline Master Officer
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    lol...thats some funny shit.

  7. #7
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    Quote Originally Posted by armsmaster270 View Post
    And you know from exprience?
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  8. #8
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    Quote Originally Posted by Car 4 View Post
    RSA....not gay this week but check with me next week....you never know....I might decide to switch hit.


    Car 4
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  9. #9
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    Quote Originally Posted by Big Al View Post
    That my fellow O/R members was authored by one of the gayest members on this site.

    umm no Beans didn't post that I did
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  10. #10
    OffDuty's Avatar
    OffDuty is offline The Shotgun is Family.
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    What about owning your own website and changing the website name?
    There are only two kinds of real justice left: street and poetic...


    Canada, huh? Almost made it...

    *DISCLAIMER*The opinions expressed here are my own delusions. My employer administraton would at best shake their heads and sigh; or at worst severely repudiate the content of these posts, should it ever manage to appear on their radar.

 

 

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