Results 1 to 9 of 9
Thread: Male VS Female at the ATM
LinkBack URL
About LinkBacks-
02-10-08, 12:27 AM #1
Three Sheets...
Supporting Member Lvl 3- Join Date
- 10-21-07
- Posts
- 1,956
- Rep Power
- 525339
Male VS Female at the ATM
> >> MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE
> >>
> >> A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
> >>
> >>
> >> 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through > >> ATM
> >> machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving
> >> their vehicles.
> >>
> >>
> >> Customers using this new facility are requested to use the
> >> procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.
> >>
> >>
> >> After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have
> >> been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your
> >> gender.'
> >>
> >> ****************************** *
> MALE PROCEDURE:
> >> 1. Drive up to the cash machine.
> >> 2. Put down your car window.
> >> 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
> >> 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
> >> 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
> >> 6. Put window up.
> >> 7. Drive off.
> >>
> >>
> >> ****************************** *
> >>
> >>
> >> FEMALE PROCEDURE:
> >> What is really funny is that most of this part is the
> >> Truth.!!!!
> >>
> >>
> >> 1. Drive up to cash machine.
> >> 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
> >> 3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
> >> 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to
> >> locate card.
> >> 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
> >> 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
> >> 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its
> >> excessive distance from the car.
> >> 8. Insert card.
> >> 9. Re-insert card the right way.
> >> 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on
> >> the inside back page.
> >> 11. Enter PIN.
> >> 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
> >> 13. Enter amount of cash required.
> >> 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
> >> 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
> >> 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash
> >> inside.
> >>
> >> 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in
> >> back of checkbook.
> >> 18. Re-check makeup.
> >> 19. Drive forward 2 feet.
> >> 20. Reverse back to cash machine.
> >> 21. Retrieve card.
> >> 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into
> >> the slot provided!
> >> 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
> >> 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
> >> 25. Redial person on cell phone.
> >> 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
> >> 27. Release Parking Brake.--
Ender
"And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."
-
02-10-08, 02:54 PM #2
Enforcer General
Supporting Member Lvl 3- Join Date
- 12-05-05
- Location
- Handbasket, enroute to somewhere hot.
- Posts
- 10,925
- Rep Power
- 7329368
Damn, never knew I was a guy.
\\` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
`` ` ` ` (3--(____)
"...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q
-
02-11-08, 06:36 AM #3
Major
Verified LEO- Join Date
- 10-06-07
- Location
- Heaven on Earth
- Posts
- 4,054
- Rep Power
- 1288636
HAHAHA! Me either.
Originally Posted by Ducky
Never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way" ~Martin Luther King, Jr
-
02-11-08, 05:39 PM #4
Officer First Class
Supporting Member Lvl 3- Join Date
- 05-20-06
- Location
- Ceres, CA
- Posts
- 4,965
- Rep Power
- 1168976
Some women just have it more together than others. Count yourselves among them, ladies.
I bet there are some men out there that flunk the mens stereotype too.
Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.
Not a LEO
In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.
-
02-11-08, 09:46 PM #5
Three Sheets...
Supporting Member Lvl 3
- Join Date
- 10-21-07
- Posts
- 1,956
- Rep Power
- 525339
??? People are ALWAYS saying you have bigger balls than Terminator, I just assumed? Originally Posted by Ducky
--
Ender
"And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."
-
02-11-08, 09:52 PM #6
Enforcer General
Supporting Member Lvl 3
- Join Date
- 12-05-05
- Location
- Handbasket, enroute to somewhere hot.
- Posts
- 10,925
- Rep Power
- 7329368
Stainless steel bowling balls, I believe was the phrase used. Originally Posted by Ender
??? People are ALWAYS saying you have bigger balls than Terminator, I just assumed?
\\` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
`` ` ` ` (3--(____)
"...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q
-
02-12-08, 01:19 AM #7
Three Sheets...
Supporting Member Lvl 3
- Join Date
- 10-21-07
- Posts
- 1,956
- Rep Power
- 525339
GIDDY UP! Originally Posted by Ducky
Stainless steel bowling balls, I believe was the phrase used.
--
Ender
"And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."
-
02-12-08, 01:25 AM #8
BANNED
- Join Date
- 12-03-05
- Location
- None of your business
- Posts
- 16,064
- Rep Power
- 0
Female ducks don't have balls. Originally Posted by Ender
??? People are ALWAYS saying you have bigger balls than Terminator, I just assumed?
-
02-15-08, 04:09 PM #9
Major
Supporting Member Lvl 3
Verified LEO- Join Date
- 09-24-06
- Location
- Delaware
- Posts
- 5,928
- Rep Power
- 200351
lol that's awesome. I love the last two for the females:
-drive 2 to 3 miles
-release parking brake
priceless!Calm Like A Bomb...
“A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.”
-Winston Churchill
Reply With QuoteThread Information
Users Browsing this Thread
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Bookmarks