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  1. #1
    Lo523's Avatar
    Lo523 is offline Master Officer
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    Installing a Husband

    INSTALLING A HUSBAND

    Dear Tech Support,
    Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0
    In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as F.A.CUP 5.0, The Ashes 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.

    Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no! avail.

    What can I do?

    Signed, Desperate

    .............................. .............................. .........


    Dear Desperate:

    First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

    Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
    But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

    Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

    Whatever you do,
    DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).

    Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

    In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.

    We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

    Regards
    Tech Support
    Never approach a bull by the front, a horse from behind, or an idiot from any direction.

  2. #2
    Car 4's Avatar
    Car 4 is offline CID Chief
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    I must send that one to my recently married daughter.


    Car 4
    I would like my country back. I used to believe that one man could never destroy this country. Not so sure anymore!

  3. #3
    Roses's Avatar
    Roses is offline Member
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    Very funny!

    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

  4. #4
    Terminator's Avatar
    Terminator is offline BANNED
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    How about Sexual Relations 6.0? I hear that stops working after marriage.

  5. #5
    MacLean's Avatar
    MacLean is offline O/R Gun mod
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terminator View Post
    How about Sexual Relations 6.0? I hear that stops working after marriage.
    Marriage 1.0 has an anti-virus program that treats Sexual Relations 6.0 as an intruder.

    It flat out removes Blowjob 2.0 and results in system crashes if you try and run it from the shortcut.
    I'm your huckleberry...

    Quemadmoeum gladis nemeinum occidit, occidentus telum est!

    You can be the weapon, and the gun in your hand is a tool - or the gun is a weapon and you are the tool.


    I was looking for a saint who was a devil of a lover,
    but every girl I found was either one way or the other...



 

 

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