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Thread: Wife from Hell

  1. #1
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
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    Talking Wife from Hell

    WIFE FROM HELL

    A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, 'I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

    The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'

    Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

    As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'

    The wife smiles demurely a nd says 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'

    As the officer makes out the 2nd ticket for the illegal radar detector unit , the man glowers at his wife and says through
    clenched teeth, 'Damn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

    The officer frown s and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'

    The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

    The wife says, 'Now dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt while you're driving.'

    And as the police officer is writing out the 3rd ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP???'

    The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'

    Only when he's been drinking.'

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  2. #2
    Twan007's Avatar
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    talk about throw ya under the bus
    -=Twan007


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  3. #3
    Hannah87's Avatar
    Hannah87 is offline Giggidy... Giggidy..
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    LOL! I think we'd all like her.
    May you rest in peace Daddy and may you never hurt again. I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you again.

    12/12/44- 2/26/09

  4. #4
    Cidp24's Avatar
    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
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    "WE"? You got a mouse in your pocket?

    Good one, TX!
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  5. #5
    213th's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    "WE"? You got a mouse in your pocket?

    Good one, TX!
    +1 Oh wait a sec...was she speaking for me? dammit!
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

  6. #6
    Hannah87's Avatar
    Hannah87 is offline Giggidy... Giggidy..
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    I meant, I think we'd like her if WE were the police officer...............
    May you rest in peace Daddy and may you never hurt again. I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you again.

    12/12/44- 2/26/09

  7. #7
    213th's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hannah87 View Post
    I meant, I think we'd like her if WE were the police officer...............
    ahh I'm picking up what you're laying down.
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

 

 

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