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Thread: Wife from Hell
03-04-08, 09:29 AM #1
Wife from Hell
WIFE FROM HELL
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, 'I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'
The wife smiles demurely a nd says 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'
As the officer makes out the 2nd ticket for the illegal radar detector unit , the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Damn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'
The officer frown s and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'
The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'
The wife says, 'Now dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt while you're driving.'
And as the police officer is writing out the 3rd ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP???'
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
Only when he's been drinking.'
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03-04-08, 10:50 AM #2
talk about throw ya under the bus-=Twan007
Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in alignment with his employer. Matter of fact, the poster will deny any knowledge of any post... this message will self-destruct in 5 seconds...
03-04-08, 11:36 AM #3
LOL! I think we'd all like her.May you rest in peace Daddy and may you never hurt again. I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you again.
03-04-08, 11:37 AM #4
"WE"? You got a mouse in your pocket?
Good one, TX!*************************"It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...to another life somewhere in the sun."*************************"There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)
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03-04-08, 11:40 AM #5
03-04-08, 12:02 PM #6
I meant, I think we'd like her if WE were the police officer...............May you rest in peace Daddy and may you never hurt again. I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you again.
03-04-08, 12:04 PM #7
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