Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. #1
    Ender's Avatar
    Ender is offline Three Sheets...
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    10-21-07
    Posts
    1,956
    Rep Power
    525401

    The 5 levels of hangovers.

    5 Levels of Hangovers



    One Star Hangover (*)


    No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively


    well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still


    feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.








    Two Star Hangover (**)


    No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you


    have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is


    only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity


    pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite


    havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.








    Three Star Hangover (***)


    Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive.

    Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the


    flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life


    would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy


    reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet


    Coke--yet you haven't peed once.








    Four Star Hangover (****)


    Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else


    you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and


    has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but


    that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the


    ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper


    cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your ass


    is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five ****s you take during


    the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.








    Five Star Hangover (*****)


    You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the


    employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every


    pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the


    corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants


    of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate spit so


    your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell


    the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to


    take a dump results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with


    a rare 'Floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'Floater' seems to be


    to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good


    about right now...
    --

    Ender

    "And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."

  2. #2
    213th's Avatar
    213th is offline Solipsist
    Join Date
    12-19-05
    Location
    64.3 N 149.1 W
    Posts
    3,672
    Rep Power
    1712096
    This doesn't apply to me. I did not work today, and will not work tomorrow so I won't be dealing with any coworkers
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

  3. #3
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    12-05-05
    Location
    Handbasket, enroute to somewhere hot.
    Posts
    11,108
    Rep Power
    7439166



    I'm only able to laugh because I haven't had a Five Star in years.
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  4. #4
    mack's Avatar
    mack is offline Officer Resource Offical Auctioneer
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Join Date
    05-25-07
    Location
    SE Indiana, I love this weather!
    Posts
    3,388
    Rep Power
    555156


    I second what Ducky said

    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter

  5. #5
    nsb22's Avatar
    nsb22 is offline Crazilicious
    Join Date
    12-21-06
    Location
    cornville
    Posts
    2,444
    Rep Power
    395104
    I may have had a 5 star twice this year.


    "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."
    -- Ambrose Redmoon

    The views and postings of NSB22 are in no way shared or supported by NSB22's employers.

  6. #6
    kjlaw's Avatar
    kjlaw is offline Swamp Mafia Proud!!!
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-11-06
    Location
    Laplace, Louisiana
    Posts
    3,044
    Rep Power
    429573
    I have not had a 5 star in years thankfully
    Lead from the front and always remember those who came first.



    Capt. Ocativo "OX" Gonzalez
    EOW 6/16/06


    Always remember that a casket is hotter than your vest.

    Quote Originally Posted by conalabu View Post
    Soon the whole world will be in the hands of the Swamp Mafia.

  7. #7
    Ender's Avatar
    Ender is offline Three Sheets...
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    10-21-07
    Posts
    1,956
    Rep Power
    525401
    Quote Originally Posted by nsb22 View Post
    I may have had a 5 star twice this year.
    Last time I had a 5 star (or as close to it as I've had in a LONG time), I had to teach class for about 30 minutes before setting them loose on independant work.

    One of the "students," (I hesitate to call people in my age group or above 'students,' for some reason) was sitting in the front row and says, "have a rough night, Ender?"



    That was the last time I was in Akron, OH...had to send it off the right way
    --

    Ender

    "And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."

  8. #8
    4everlate's Avatar
    4everlate is offline Swamp Rat
    Join Date
    02-07-07
    Location
    Central Florida
    Posts
    46
    Rep Power
    16914


    I've had a 5 star this year. I know the exact date 01/19/08. Or would that be 01/20/08? Okay it started on Saturday night and I was sick until Monday night.

    I was under the crazy impression that I could drink martini's all night when I have not had a drink in years.
    If the grass is always greener on the other side, stop pissing on yours.

  9. #9
    nsb22's Avatar
    nsb22 is offline Crazilicious
    Join Date
    12-21-06
    Location
    cornville
    Posts
    2,444
    Rep Power
    395104
    Quote Originally Posted by 4everlate View Post


    I've had a 5 star this year. I know the exact date 01/19/08. Or would that be 01/20/08? Okay it started on Saturday night and I was sick until Monday night.

    I was under the crazy impression that I could drink martini's all night when I have not had a drink in years.
    I won't say the exact dates as that would be incrimnating myself, but the two times it happened this years, the "sickness" lasted for damn near a week each time.

    Yet another reason I decided to quit drinking once and for all!


    "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."
    -- Ambrose Redmoon

    The views and postings of NSB22 are in no way shared or supported by NSB22's employers.

 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •