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  1. #1
    PSDIVERTOM is offline Banned
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    Talking DEPARTMENTAL EFFICIENCY FORM

    Law Enforcement Improvement Policy


    In order to provide you, the customer, with the best possible service, we ask that you take a few minutes to complete this critique.

    1. During your arrest were you advised of your rights in a timely manner?


    ___ Yes
    ___ No
    ___ What rights?

    2. If your attitude at the time of arrest required the use of force, how would you rate the application of said force?


    ___ Too much
    ___ Not enough
    ___ Just right

    3. If an arrest warrant was used during your arrest, what type was it?

    ___ Consensual
    ___ Court ordered
    ___ Police ordered

    4. When you were handcuffed, how would you rate their use?

    ___ Too tight
    ___ Not tight enough
    ___ Too loose
    ___ Not loose enough
    ___ Just right

    5. For what crime were you arrested?

    ___ Homicide
    ___ Rape
    ___ Robbery
    ___ DUI
    ___ Public Stupidity
    ___ Public Mopery with Intent to Gawk
    ___ Other

    6. During your arrest, was the officer's commentary directed at you politically correct?

    ___ Yes
    ___ No

    7. During your ride to jail, how many times did the officer's driving habits cause your face to impact with the silent partner?

    ___ Once
    ___ Twice
    ___ Three times
    ___ I can't remember

    8. Once you arrived at our jail, how were you removed from the vehicle?

    ___ Through the car door
    ___ Through the trunk
    ___ From the trunk
    ___ Through the wing window
    ___ Off the bumper

    9. Have you taken advantage of our department's free attitude adjustment program?'

    ___ Yes
    ___ No
    ___ Not yet

    10. How would you rate the food at our jail in comparison with food at other jails you have visited?

    ___ Excellent
    ___ Good
    ___ Fair
    ___ Poor
    ___ Bad
    ___ What food?

    11. Would you recommend being arrested by our department to your fellow felons?

    ___ Yes
    ___ No
    ___ You gotta be kidding

    12. Were you offered an opportunity to confess to the crime you were arrested for?

    ___ Yes
    ___ No

    13. Were you offered an opportunity to confess to the crime you were not arrested for?

    ___ Yes
    ___ No

    14. Our department is offering a Time Saver Program whereby you can sign all forms ahead of time, and we will fill in the blanks later. Would you be interested in such a program?

    ___ Yes
    ___ No
    ___ Does X count as a signature?

    Thank you for your participation!

  2. #2
    Ender's Avatar
    Ender is offline Three Sheets...
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    If they get shitty with you, you could throw in this form also:



    --

    Ender

    "And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."

  3. #3
    Shoestring's Avatar
    Shoestring is offline Please dont check the trunk...
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    ENDER, I would love to hang that somewhere in my department, to bad there would probably be backlash

  4. #4
    pc830cop's Avatar
    pc830cop is offline Just another squirrel looking for a NUT
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    i'm posting this on the board. they don't call me a shit magnet just for all the unforseen things but also all I bring upon myself


    Searching for Evil and the Perfect donut (Love that book)

    "It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you"
    -Batman Begins

    There are gains for all our losses
    There are balms for all our pain
    But, when youth, the dream, departs
    It takes something from our hearts
    And it never comes again

    "Captain, it is I Ensign Pulver. I just threw your damn palm tree overboard. Now, what's all this crap about no movie tonight?" -Ens Pulver in Mister Roberts

    The man who will go where his colors go, without asking who will fight a phantom foe in the jungle and mountain range, without counting, and who will suffer and die in the midst of incredible hardship, without complaint, is still what he has always been, from Imperial Rome to sceptered Britain to democratic America. He is the stuff of which legions are made. ...His pride is in his colors and his regiment, his training hard and thorough and coldly realistic, to fit him for what he must face...and his obedience is to his orders. He has been called United State Marine.
    T.R. Fehrenbach, This Kind of War

  5. #5
    kjlaw's Avatar
    kjlaw is offline Swamp Mafia Proud!!!
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    Those are both outstanding
    Lead from the front and always remember those who came first.



    Capt. Ocativo "OX" Gonzalez
    EOW 6/16/06


    Always remember that a casket is hotter than your vest.

    Quote Originally Posted by conalabu View Post
    Soon the whole world will be in the hands of the Swamp Mafia.

  6. #6
    pc830cop's Avatar
    pc830cop is offline Just another squirrel looking for a NUT
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    Posted it. got called into the Lt's office. yelled at but no 3 days vacation with pay. maybe if I slide it under the chief's door I will get a small paid vacation


    Searching for Evil and the Perfect donut (Love that book)

    "It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you"
    -Batman Begins

    There are gains for all our losses
    There are balms for all our pain
    But, when youth, the dream, departs
    It takes something from our hearts
    And it never comes again

    "Captain, it is I Ensign Pulver. I just threw your damn palm tree overboard. Now, what's all this crap about no movie tonight?" -Ens Pulver in Mister Roberts

    The man who will go where his colors go, without asking who will fight a phantom foe in the jungle and mountain range, without counting, and who will suffer and die in the midst of incredible hardship, without complaint, is still what he has always been, from Imperial Rome to sceptered Britain to democratic America. He is the stuff of which legions are made. ...His pride is in his colors and his regiment, his training hard and thorough and coldly realistic, to fit him for what he must face...and his obedience is to his orders. He has been called United State Marine.
    T.R. Fehrenbach, This Kind of War

  7. #7
    Wolven's Avatar
    Wolven is offline Major
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    Ender...that is so damn funny. LMAO
    Never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way" ~Martin Luther King, Jr

  8. #8
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
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    Public Mopery with Intent to Gawk
    hahahaha!
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

 

 

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