How do you tell the difference between a Canadian, an Australian, and an American LEO???

**PSDIVERTOM** · 03-22-08, 02:46 PM

Question:

How do you tell the difference between a Canadian Police Officer,
an Australian Police Officer, and an American Police Officer?

Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small

children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around
the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and
charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have
mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

CANADIAN POLICE OFFICERS
Answer: (Immediate thought processes)

Is the knife a ceremonial kirpan?

Does he prefer to communicate in English or French?
Will this negatively impact my chances of promotion?
Is this just his way of telling me that he pays my wages, and wants my job?
Would this be an appropriate time to hug him and sing Koombaya?
Will the media do a profile of him and how he was loved by everyone
including his dog?
Is the alleged "client" a member of the NDP or an Environmental Group?
Is he just a squeegee kid / pan handler trying to make a living on the mean
streets?
Is he a member of a gang that is just "misunderstood" by society?
Is he a recent illegal immigrant to this country, and just doesn't know how
to approach the police?
Is he recently released on parole and hasn't been properly integrated back
into the community?
Is he a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome, and just doesn't understand what
he is doing?
Is he a member of the Muslim community or other visible minority group?
Warn and Charter him as he approaches.

AUSTRALIAN OFFICERS

Answer: BANG!

AMERICAN OFFICERS

Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! Click....

(Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.

______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________ __________________________

COP QUOTE:
(me)

Do you realize that in about 40 years we will have thousands of old ladies
running around with tattoos and pierced navels?

**keith720** · 03-23-08, 06:16 AM

That's pretty good! I can't help but wonder what an English cop would do?

**Jenna** · 03-23-08, 08:09 AM

Originally Posted by keith720

That's pretty good! I can't help but wonder what an English cop would do?

He'll sigh at how bad things have gotten since the Colonials took over.

**Trojan 42** · 03-23-08, 08:31 AM

Originally Posted by keith720

That's pretty good! I can't help but wonder what an English cop would do?

Disarm him, using the least force possible and call for a van to transport the prisoner in. Simple really, next question?

**keith720** · 03-24-08, 03:08 AM

Good answer, Trojan. Do you make them wear funny hats and drink warm beer, then?

**Ducky** · 03-24-08, 03:11 AM

Originally Posted by PSDIVERTOM

COP QUOTE:
(me)

Do you realize that in about 40 years we will have thousands of old ladies
running around with tattoos and pierced navels?

**Motorwaycop** · 03-24-08, 05:11 AM

Originally Posted by keith720

Good answer, Trojan. Do you make them wear funny hats and drink warm beer, then?

No we wear the funny hat, the sight of it is designed to confuse strangers to this land of warm beer and fish and chips.

**keith720** · 03-24-08, 05:24 AM

No we wear the funny hat, the sight of it is designed to confuse strangers to this land of warm beer and fish and chips.

Now that is some funny stuff!

**bayern** · 03-24-08, 10:09 AM

Originally Posted by keith720

That's pretty good! I can't help but wonder what an English cop would do?

I say, old chap, cease and desist, or I will issue you a STERN CAUTION.

**Hannibal** · 03-24-08, 08:47 PM

I hate to be the party pooper, but if your Glock goes "click" when it runs dry, you either need to man up with your limp wrist or check with the armorer.

Very funny though!

**MacLean** · 03-24-08, 11:42 PM

Originally Posted by Hannibal

I hate to be the party pooper, but if your Glock goes "click" when it runs dry, you either need to man up with your limp wrist or check with the armorer.

reps!

**MacLean** · 03-24-08, 11:44 PM

Originally Posted by Trojan 42

Disarm him, using the least force possible and call for a van to transport the prisoner in. Simple really, next question?

Don't forget to call the ambulance for the numerous slice/penetration wounds achieved whilst subduing the miscreant.

BTW, I will give you the fish and chips. Nobody can make them right here.

**213th** · 03-24-08, 11:57 PM

Originally Posted by maclean

Don't forget to call the ambulance for the numerous slice/penetration wounds achieved whilst subduing the miscreant.

BTW, I will give you the fish and chips. Nobody can make them right here.

or the coroner

**Trojan 42** · 03-25-08, 05:36 AM

Originally Posted by maclean

Don't forget to call the ambulance for the numerous slice/penetration wounds achieved whilst subduing the miscreant.

I don't intend to get into a pissing contest with you Mac, but most UK cops disarm people with knives on a regular basis and were doing so long before CS Spray, Tasers, etc. were available. I certainly have, and only have a small scar on my thumb from one incident and a small car on my wrist from another.

(Having said that if I'd had a gun they would have been shot.

)

**MacLean** · 03-25-08, 12:26 PM

Originally Posted by Trojan 42

I don't intend to get into a pissing contest with you Mac, but most UK cops disarm people with knives on a regular basis and were doing so long before CS Spray, Tasers, etc. were available. I certainly have, and only have a small scar on my thumb from one incident and a small car on my wrist from another.

(Having said that if I'd had a gun they would have been shot.

)

No pissing contest at all sir, your last line summed it up nicely

I've also disarmed a knife wielder, but now I'm less likely to take the chance.