Disorder in the Court

[bluescop]

Disorder in the Court
>
> These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts,
and
are
> things people actually said in court, word for word, taken
down and
now
> published by court reporters that had the torment of staying
calm
while
> these exchanges were actually taking place
>
> ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
> WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
> ______________________________
> ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
> WITNESS: July 18th.
> ATTORNEY: What year?
> WITNESS: Every year.
> ______________________________ _______
> ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
> WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
> ______________________________ ________
> ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory
at all?
> WITNESS: Yes.
> ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
> WITNESS: I forget.
> ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something
you
forgot?
> ______________________________ _______
> ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
> WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
> ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
> WITNESS: Forty-five years.
> ______________________________ _______
> ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you
that
morning?
> WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
> ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
> WITNESS: My name is Susan.
> ______________________________ ________
> ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved
in
voodoo?
> WITNESS: We both do.
> ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
> WITNESS: We do.
> ATTORNEY: You do?
> WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
> ______________________________ ________
> ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies
in his
sleep,
> he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
> WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
> ______________________________ _____
> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is
he?
> WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
> ______________________________ __________
> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
> WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
> ______________________________ ________
> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August
8th?
> WITNESS: Yes.
> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
> WITNESS: Uh....
> ______________________________ ________
> ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
> WITNESS: Yes.
> ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
> WITNESS: None.
> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
> ______________________________ ________
> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
> WITNESS: By death
> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
> ______________________________ ________
> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
> WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
> ______________________________ ________
> ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition
> notice which I sent to your attorney?
> WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
> ______________________________ ________
> ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you
performed on
dead
> people?
> WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
> ______________________________ ________
> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school
did you
go
> to?
> WITNESS: Oral.
> ______________________________ ________
> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 pm.
> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
> WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an

> autopsy on him!
> ______________________________ ________
> ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
> WITNESS: Huh?
> ______________________________ ________
> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for
a
> pulse?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
when
you
> began the autopsy?
> WITNESS: No.
> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
> ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?
> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[Roses]

ROFL! Very funny!

[TacticalII]

Nice