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  1. #1
    iso607's Avatar
    iso607 is offline Sergeant
    Verified LEO
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    04-06-07
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    Louisiana
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    Talking Request for a Rise,...er, Raise NSFW

    The Request

    I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
    I do physical labor.
    I work at great depths.
    I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
    I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
    I work in a damp environment.
    I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
    I work in high temperatures.
    My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
    Sincerely,

    P. Niss

    The Response

    Dear Mr. Niss:
    After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
    You do not work 8 hours straight.
    You fall asleep after brief work periods.
    You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
    You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations..
    You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
    You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
    You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
    correct protective clothing..
    You will retire well before you are 65.
    You are unable to work double shifts.
    You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
    And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
    Sincerely,

    V. Gina

  2. #2
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    12-05-05
    Location
    Handbasket, enroute to somewhere hot.
    Posts
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    7439166
    Rep!
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  3. #3
    The91Bravo's Avatar
    The91Bravo is offline Deputy Sheriff
    Join Date
    04-01-08
    Location
    Clarksville, TN
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    That is too funny....

    LMAO!!!

    rep added.. too funny

  4. #4
    kjlaw's Avatar
    kjlaw is offline Swamp Mafia Proud!!!
    Verified LEO
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    05-11-06
    Location
    Laplace, Louisiana
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    LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Lead from the front and always remember those who came first.



    Capt. Ocativo "OX" Gonzalez
    EOW 6/16/06


    Always remember that a casket is hotter than your vest.

    Quote Originally Posted by conalabu View Post
    Soon the whole world will be in the hands of the Swamp Mafia.

  5. #5
    Ender's Avatar
    Ender is offline Three Sheets...
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
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    10-21-07
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    hahahha....two suspicious looking bags...
    --

    Ender

    "And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."

  6. #6
    CTR man's Avatar
    CTR man is offline Officer First Class
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
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    05-20-06
    Location
    Ceres, CA
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    Reminds me of the Dear Penis song by Rodney Carrington.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIqttbRlJUQ


    Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Not a LEO

    In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
    In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.









  7. #7
    suellen446's Avatar
    suellen446 is offline Officer First Class
    Join Date
    11-27-07
    Location
    webb city, missouri - that is in the extreme southwest corner of the state
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    lol thats some funny shit
    dispatcher

  8. #8
    Shoestring's Avatar
    Shoestring is offline Please dont check the trunk...
    Verified LEO
    Authorized Vendor
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    09-20-07
    Location
    Madison ish, WI
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    Awesome!
    Somebody Please, what the hell is that smell?

    "The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

    The views, opinions, stupid off the cuff comments, mouthy, obnoxious, thoughtless, etc etc etc are not always or even some of the time the belief of my department, so bugger off!

  9. #9
    Buttercup's Avatar
    Buttercup is offline Thrives in sunshine
    Supporting Member Lvl 1
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    04-29-06
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    NJ
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    That is great!




 

 

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