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  1. #1
    Roses's Avatar
    Roses is offline Member
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    13 Reasons Why it is so cool to be a man

    1)Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    2)You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

    3)You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    4)If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

    5)Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

    6)Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

    7)Same work, more pay.

    8)Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

    9)Wedding dress: $2,000. Tuxedo rental: $75.

    10)If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

    11)You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

    12)The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

    13)Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

    http://www.killsometime.com/jokes/Joke.asp?ID=140
    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

  2. #2
    Prometheus's Avatar
    Prometheus is offline Senior Member
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    Ahhh.... a subset of:

    100 Reasons It's Great to be a Guy

    1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.

    3. You know stuff about tanks.

    4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.

    5. Monday Night Football.

    6. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.

    7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

    8. You can open all your own jars.

    9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.

    10. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.

    11. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

    12. Your _ss is never a factor in a job interview.

    13. All your orgasms are real.

    14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.

    15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.

    16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

    17. You understand why Stripes is funny.

    18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

    19. Your last name stays put.

    20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

    21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

    22. You can kill your own food.

    23. The garage is all yours.

    24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.

    26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.

    27. You never have to clean the toilet.

    28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

    29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

    30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

    31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

    32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.

    33. The National College Cheer leading Championship

    34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

    35. You don't have to shave below your neck.

    36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy _ss every nite.

    37. If you're 34 and single, nobody notices.

    38. You can write your name in the snow.

    39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.

    40. Everything on your face stays its original color.

    41. Chocolate is just another snack.

    42. You can be president.

    43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

    44. Flowers fix everything.

    45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

    46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.

    47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

    48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.

    49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

    50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.

    51. Foreplay is optional.

    52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

    53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.

    54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

    55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by..

    56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

    57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

    58. You don't give a rat's _ss if someone notices your new haircut.

    59. You and your buddy can watch a game in silence for hours without thinking even once: "Gee.... He must be mad at me."

    60. The world is your urinal.

    61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.

    62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.

    63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

    64. One mood, all the time.

    65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

    66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.

    67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

    68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.

    69. Same work.... more pay.

    70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.

    71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.

    72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

    73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.

    74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

    75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.

    76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

    77. The remote is yours and yours alone.

    78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

    79. ESPN's sports center.

    80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

    81. Bachelor parties whomp _ss over bridal showers.

    82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

    83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

    84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

    85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.

    86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

    87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"

    88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.

    89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.

    90. The occasional well rendered belch is practically expected.

    91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.

    92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.

    93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.

    94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

    95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.

    96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

    97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.

    98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"

    99. Baywatch

    100. There is always a game on somewhere.


    Still a good post though.
    "Look, just give me some inner peace or I'll mop the floor with you!"

  3. #3
    Roses's Avatar
    Roses is offline Member
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    Lol!
    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

  4. #4
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
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    Nice!!
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

 

 

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