Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Best diet ever

  1. #1
    GhostCop's Avatar
    GhostCop is offline Sergeant
    Join Date
    04-10-08
    Location
    Wyoming
    Posts
    87
    Rep Power
    8964

    Best diet ever

    I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog "Buddy"--and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. . . . Duh!

    I was feeling a bit crabby, so on impulse I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.


    Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.


    I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital?


    I said no . . . I was sitting in the street licking my balls when a car hit me.


    I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.
    "Any community's arm of force - military, police, security - needs people in it who can do necessary evil, and yet not be made evil by it. To do only the necessary and no more. To constantly question the assumptions, to stop the slide into atrocity."

  2. #2
    CTR man's Avatar
    CTR man is offline Officer First Class
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    05-20-06
    Location
    Ceres, CA
    Posts
    4,965
    Rep Power
    1169037
    Good one!


    Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Not a LEO

    In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
    In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.









  3. #3
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
    Join Date
    04-26-06
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    6,177
    Rep Power
    1401352
    You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to GhostCop again.
    Darn!


    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  4. #4
    Just KC's Avatar
    Just KC is offline Who?......Me?
    Join Date
    06-07-06
    Location
    Ca
    Posts
    2,403
    Rep Power
    470210
    Got it for ya, PDawg!
    **********************
    ~Karie

    "I used to care
    but now I take a pill for that"

  5. #5
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
    Join Date
    06-28-06
    Location
    O'ahu Hawaii
    Posts
    4,278
    Rep Power
    610544
    LMAO.. i just did the rep too...

    well ghost needs no reps for a while LOL
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  6. #6
    CTR man's Avatar
    CTR man is offline Officer First Class
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    05-20-06
    Location
    Ceres, CA
    Posts
    4,965
    Rep Power
    1169037
    GhostCop deserves all the reps he can get.


    Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Not a LEO

    In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
    In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.









 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •