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05-16-08, 12:01 AM #1
We trust these people with our health??
Strange Hospital Chart Notations
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
One too many deliveries?
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The skin was moist and dry.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
Now THATS a long middle finger!!
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Must be some italian dish.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
Now thats a helpful doc!
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
I can see how that could harm your health.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
Umm, count me out for that cure.
The patient was prepped and raped in the usual manner.
Examination reveals a well-developed male laying in bed with his family in no distress.
Must have good life insurance.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
Reminds me of some people I know.
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
Bet that hurts.
The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
She is numb from her toes down.
Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.
Somebody put a foot up someones ass?
While in the emergency room, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
The patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.*************************"It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...to another life somewhere in the sun."*************************"There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)
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05-16-08, 12:27 AM #2
We had one that was on X and Whiskey when arrested for Armed robbery. We had to take him to the hospitol before jail. After the usual several hours in the ER the Doctor wrote his dicharge notes as;
"Stop taking drugs"
I loved it."An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper
Some people are meant to be the police......Some people are meant to call the police!!!
"Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it and hell where they already have it."
" I believe that forgiving them (Terrorist) is God's function. OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
General Norman Schwartzkopf
Not all Muslims are Terrorists, but all Terrorists are Muslim.
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