Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 2 of 2
  1. #1
    Cidp24's Avatar
    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    07-17-06
    Location
    Crossroads of the Sunny South
    Posts
    8,131
    Rep Power
    3999639

    Talking We trust these people with our health??

    Strange Hospital Chart Notations

    The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
    One too many deliveries?

    Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
    WOW!

    The skin was moist and dry.

    Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
    Now THATS a long middle finger!!

    The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
    Must be some italian dish.

    She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

    Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
    Now thats a helpful doc!

    The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
    I can see how that could harm your health.

    I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
    Umm, count me out for that cure.

    The patient was prepped and raped in the usual manner.

    Examination reveals a well-developed male laying in bed with his family in no distress.
    Must have good life insurance.

    Patient was alert and unresponsive.
    Reminds me of some people I know.

    When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
    Bet that hurts.

    The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

    Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.

    Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

    She is numb from her toes down.
    Me too.

    Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.
    Somebody put a foot up someones ass?

    While in the emergency room, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

    The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

    The patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

  2. #2
    BigDawg's Avatar
    BigDawg is offline K-9 Officer
    Verified LEO
    Site Moderator
    Join Date
    06-15-06
    Location
    So. Florida
    Posts
    5,312
    Rep Power
    1659729
    We had one that was on X and Whiskey when arrested for Armed robbery. We had to take him to the hospitol before jail. After the usual several hours in the ER the Doctor wrote his dicharge notes as;


    "Stop taking drugs"

    I loved it.
    "An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper


    Some people are meant to be the police......Some people are meant to call the police!!!

    "Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it and hell where they already have it."
    -Ronald Reagan


    " I believe that forgiving them (Terrorist) is God's function. OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
    General Norman Schwartzkopf

    Not all Muslims are Terrorists, but all Terrorists are Muslim.
    (author unknown)


    The statements posted by BigDawg DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, or procedures of the author's employing agency. These statements are the personal opinions of BigDawg only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the user name of BigDawg. The opinions expressed by BigDawg are protected by the 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. BigDawg’s messages are intended to invoke thought and discussion among the "Officer Resources" forum community and may not necessarily reflect the opinion of the author. BigDawg’s posts and any attachments are intended for an adult audience (18+) and may contain strong language, sexual content, nudity, violence, and may be graphic in nature. Some material may be considered offensive; reader discretion is advised. Please note that many of BigDawg’s posts are intended for entertainment value only. BigDawg’s posts are not intended to be used where prohibited by law. Furthermore, BigDawg's posts, and any attachments, may contain information covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. 2510-2521, and is confidential and proprietary in nature. If you are not the intended recipient, please be advised that you are legally prohibited from retaining, using, copying, distributing, or otherwise disclosing this information in any manner.

 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •