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Thread: Redneck logic

  1. #1
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    Redneck logic

    Two Rednecks, Jim and Dave, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer.





    Jim turns to Dave and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes.



    "

    Dave thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.





    The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, history, and Logic.





    "Logic?" Jim says.



    "What's that?"

    The dean says, "I'll give you an example.



    Do you own a weed eater?"
    "Yeah.



    "

    "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard.



    "

    "That's true, I do have a yard.



    "

    "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house.



    "

    "Yes, I do have a house.



    "

    "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family.



    "

    "Yes, I have a family.



    "

    "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual.



    "

    "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater.



    "

    Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Dave at the bar. He tells Dave about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic.





    "Logic?" Dave says, "What's that?"

    Jim says, 'I'll give you an example.



    Do you have a weed eater?"

    "No.



    "

    "Then you're gay.
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  3. #3
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    hee heee
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  4. #4
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    Hmm..Dave aka Pudge?
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Resident Smart Ass View Post
    Hmm..Dave aka Pudge?
    Nope...I have TWO weedeaters.
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  6. #6
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pudge113 View Post
    Nope...I have TWO weedeaters.

    hahaha
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
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    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  7. #7
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    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter

  8. #8
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    RSA may be on to something, hehehe
    http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/f.../ukbluejw2.gif


    "When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day long."

  9. #9
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    funny


    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
    Ben

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)


    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan



  10. #10
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    That sounds more like Brad's logic.
    "If everyone is thinking alike, then someone isn't thinking." -Gen. George S. Patton

 

 

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