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Thread: curtain rods

  1. #1
    JLK's Avatar
    JLK
    JLK is offline Protecting Those That Can't Protect Themselves
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    curtain rods


    She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
    suitcases.

    On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

    On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

    When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.
    She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

    Then slowly, the house began to smell.

    They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

    Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

    Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked
    People stopped coming over to visit.
    Repairmen refused to work in the house.
    The maid quit.

    Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided t o move.

    A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

    Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

    Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

    The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

    He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

    Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

    She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

    A week later the man and his girlf riend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.........

    And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!!!



    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
    Ben

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)


    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan



  2. #2
    Cidp24's Avatar
    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
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  3. #3
    pc830cop's Avatar
    pc830cop is offline Just another squirrel looking for a NUT
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    Thanks for the advice! I'm using that trick on my future ex girlfriend!


    Searching for Evil and the Perfect donut (Love that book)

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    But, when youth, the dream, departs
    It takes something from our hearts
    And it never comes again

    "Captain, it is I Ensign Pulver. I just threw your damn palm tree overboard. Now, what's all this crap about no movie tonight?" -Ens Pulver in Mister Roberts

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    T.R. Fehrenbach, This Kind of War

  4. #4
    armsmaster270's Avatar
    armsmaster270 is offline Ret. Sac. P.D. - 270th M.P. Co., Now with D.H.S.
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    This I have to remember


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  5. #5
    op246's Avatar
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    Note to self.....Check curtain rods after break-up

  6. #6
    nsb22's Avatar
    nsb22 is offline Crazilicious
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    Damn that's funny!!!


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  7. #7
    mack's Avatar
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    Ain't revenge sweet!

    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
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    And those that mind...don't matter

 

 

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