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  1. #1
    Big Al's Avatar
    Big Al is online now There is no place like home....
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    Weight loss for Men

    Weight Loss for Men

    A guy, Big Al, calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

    The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

    Without a second thought, Al takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised.

    Big Al calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me". Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

    Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program

    "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

    "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years."

    The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy, RSA, standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, your ass is mine."

    He lost 63 pounds that week.
    __________________
    To be a good Law Enforcement Officer you MUST know the law!

  2. #2
    k-9max's Avatar
    k-9max is offline K9 Officer
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    HAhaha, Nice
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked, Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

  3. #3
    Buttercup's Avatar
    Buttercup is offline Thrives in sunshine
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    Hahaha!




  4. #4
    CTR man's Avatar
    CTR man is offline Officer First Class
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    RSA, I didn't know you had it in you.


    Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Not a LEO

    In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
    In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.









  5. #5
    Wolven's Avatar
    Wolven is offline Major
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    That is hysterical!
    Never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way" ~Martin Luther King, Jr

  6. #6
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    Big Al,

    You can thank me with a case of GUINESS

    Anyone else needs to lose weight?
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  7. #7
    Bicdog's Avatar
    Bicdog is offline The Old Man and The Sea
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    Lose weight! How about losing my breakfast! That is funny.

  8. #8
    iso607's Avatar
    iso607 is offline Sergeant
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  9. #9
    Big Al's Avatar
    Big Al is online now There is no place like home....
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    Damn, I am beat, I just ran 4 miles.. Better get on the scales. LOL
    To be a good Law Enforcement Officer you MUST know the law!

  10. #10
    Just KC's Avatar
    Just KC is offline Who?......Me?
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    ROFL!
    **********************
    ~Karie

    "I used to care
    but now I take a pill for that"

  11. #11
    Roses's Avatar
    Roses is offline Member
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    Very funny!
    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

  12. #12
    mavriktu's Avatar
    mavriktu is offline Patrol Sgt.
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    Great,and do I notice no denial from the RSA

 

 

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