Male VS Female at the ATM

[2 Blue 4 U]

AT THE ATM

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been
developed.

Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.

****************************** *
MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

****************************** *

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside
back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN..
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of
checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

[BigDawg]

Sounds about right to me!!!

[CTR man]

Same here. CTR gets benny hill slap from wife when she discovers what he is laughing about.

[pgg]

That sounds normal. Last year the little woman had to drive my old truck while I was out of town since her truck broke down again (Stupid Dodge). She drove around all week with the parking brake on. Then told me "it felt a little sluggish but I stepped on the petal and it still went so I figured it was okay".

[gozling]

yeah.. ok so?


I don't see why this is jokes/humor?

[dapples]

Did you know that if you dont retrieve your card and/or your money from the ATM in a certain number of seconds that the machine sucks them back up?

Neither did I.....until.....


Side note: You can get your money back...but you have to wait until they do their inventory....count the money in the machine against the transactions

[mack]

yeah.. ok so?


I don't see why this is jokes/humor?

Me either, I don't see the joke?????

[gozling]

Did you know that if you dont retrieve your card and/or your money from the ATM in a certain number of seconds that the machine sucks them back up?

Neither did I.....until.....


Side note: You can get your money back...but you have to wait until they do their inventory....count the money in the machine against the transactions

hmmm... daps??
thats the sort of stuff we keep in the secret girls room

though i guess since the panty secrets are out...and now this...
we don't have much left!
lol

[keith720]

That sounds normal. Last year the little woman had to drive my old truck while I was out of town since her truck broke down again (Stupid Dodge). She drove around all week with the parking brake on. Then told me "it felt a little sluggish but I stepped on the petal and it still went so I figured it was okay".

A few years back, I had a Toyota 4X4 with a simple 4 speed. My wife decided to use it one day and drove about 75 miles on the high-way. The next day, I was driving and when I went onto the high-way, I shifted into 4th. My wife looked at me and said, "Oh, that's when you use that one! I didn't know so I just left it in third!" Yup, the tranny went out within a week!