Ted Kennedy Mistakenly Cited for Being Topless in Public
MASSACHUSETTS --- Senator Ted Kennedy was embarrassed today when he was mistakenly cited by police for being topless in public. Kennedy, who was sailing without a shirt, was mistaken by the Harbor Patrol for an elderly woman who was sunbathing topless in public.
"It was an honest mistake," said Officer Joe Kopechne. "He really looked like an elderly topless woman. I mean, come on. He's a D-cup. When he said he was Ted Kennedy, I thought it was a woman just trying to get out of the ticket. It was only after I realized that he was sweating pure vodka that I knew it was really Ted Kennedy. I asked him to please put on a shirt, and I tore up the ticket."