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  1. #1
    mack's Avatar
    mack is offline Officer Resource Offical Auctioneer
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    Grandpa and the IRS-possible NSFW

    Grandpa vs the IRS
    The IRS decides to audit Grandpa and summons him to the
    IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa
    Showed up with his attorney.
    The auditor said, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle
    And no full-time employment which you explain by saying you
    Win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that
    Believable." "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says
    Grandpa. "How about I do a demonstration?" The auditor
    Thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
    Grandpa says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my
    Own eye." The auditor thinks a moment and says, "It's a bet."
    Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
    Grandpa says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other
    Eye." Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa
    Removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes
    He has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He
    Starts to get nervous.
    "Want to go double or nothing?" Grandpa asks "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand
    On one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop
    Anywhere in between." The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
    Decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
    Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't
    Make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the
    Auditor's' desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a
    Huge win.
    But Grandpa's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. "Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
    "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for
    An audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your
    Desk and that you'd be happy about it."

    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter

  2. #2
    pc830cop's Avatar
    pc830cop is offline Just another squirrel looking for a NUT
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    ROFLMAO!

    only in america where can you piss all over an IRS agent and get one over on a lawyer


    Searching for Evil and the Perfect donut (Love that book)

    "It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you"
    -Batman Begins

    There are gains for all our losses
    There are balms for all our pain
    But, when youth, the dream, departs
    It takes something from our hearts
    And it never comes again

    "Captain, it is I Ensign Pulver. I just threw your damn palm tree overboard. Now, what's all this crap about no movie tonight?" -Ens Pulver in Mister Roberts

    The man who will go where his colors go, without asking who will fight a phantom foe in the jungle and mountain range, without counting, and who will suffer and die in the midst of incredible hardship, without complaint, is still what he has always been, from Imperial Rome to sceptered Britain to democratic America. He is the stuff of which legions are made. ...His pride is in his colors and his regiment, his training hard and thorough and coldly realistic, to fit him for what he must face...and his obedience is to his orders. He has been called United State Marine.
    T.R. Fehrenbach, This Kind of War

  3. #3
    2 Blue 4 U's Avatar
    2 Blue 4 U is offline Retired NYPD
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    Good One!


  4. #4
    pac201's Avatar
    pac201 is offline Used up and retired
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    I snorted tea through my nose on that one
    Job security...

    Ecclesiastes 8:11 Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil.

 

 

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