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  1. #1
    MissConduct's Avatar
    MissConduct is offline Naughty and Nice
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    These are a few children's books that couldn't quite make it

    1. You are different and that's bad
    2. The boy who died from eating his vegetables
    3. Dad's new wife Robert
    4. The fun four letter words to know and share
    5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: an I -can-do book
    6. The kids guide to hitchhicking
    7. Kathy was so bad her mom stopped loving her
    8. Curious George and the high voltage fence
    9. All cats go to hell
    10. The little sissy who snitched
    11. Some kittens can fly
    12. That's it, I'm putting you up for adoption
    13. Grandpa gets a casket
    14. The magic world inside the abandoned refigerator
    15. Garfield gets feline leukaemia
    16. The pop-up book of anatomy
    17. Strangers have the best candy
    18. Whining, kicking and screaming get you what you want
    19. You were an accident
    20. Things rich kids have, but you never will
    21. Pop goes the hamster....and other microwave games
    22. The man on the moon is really Satan
    23. Your nightmares are real
    24. Where would you like to be buired?
    25. Eggs, toilet paper and your school
    26. Why can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical outlet be friends
    27. Places where mommy and daddy hide neat things
    28. Daddy drinks because you cry

    Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?????

  2. #2
    Cheech Guest
    29. the best part of you ran down your mother's leg

  3. #3
    slamdunc's Avatar
    slamdunc is offline On The Beat
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    # 11 is true; Some kittens can fly.
    'The Art of War' teaches us to "Rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's coming, but on our own readiness to receive him"--Sun Tsu

  4. #4
    MountainCop Guest
    Yep - all ya gotta do is punt.

    And what happened to #29: Flaming Toddlers played with matches ??

  5. #5
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
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    #30 You're what happens when mommy rolls over on the wet spot.
    #31 Curious George Gets Mauled
    #32 Curious George Drowns
    #33 Curious George and the Grumpy Tiger (My cat had a curious george toy and tossed it in our aquarium)
    #34 For Christ's Sake, Will You Quit Wetting The Damn Bed Already?
    #35 Mommy and Daddy Fuck Like Bunnies
    #36 We Put The Wrong Twin Up For Adoption
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  6. #6
    MountainCop Guest
    #37 - Oh, bother, said Pooh, as he field dressed Eeyore and Tigger...

  7. #7
    Welpe's Avatar
    Welpe is offline Wannabe NFL Ref
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    #38 - Why It's Your Fault Daddy Doesn't Love Mommy
    "To the German commander: 'Nuts!' The American Commander" - General Tony McAuliffe, 101st Airborne Division

  8. #8
    cntryboy0531 is offline THE five-oh
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    #39- Why you are the one load your mother should have swallowed.

  9. #9
    Prometheus's Avatar
    Prometheus is offline Senior Member
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    #40. Bi-curious George.
    "Look, just give me some inner peace or I'll mop the floor with you!"

  10. #10
    OfficerResource.com's Avatar
    OfficerResource.com is offline Site Administrator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prometheus
    #40. Bi-curious George.
    That Is Funny

  11. #11
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prometheus
    #40. Bi-curious George.
    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!


    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

  12. #12
    MountainCop Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Prometheus
    #40. Bi-curious George.
    Written by Terminator???

  13. #13
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by MountainCop
    Written by Terminator???

    Based on personal stories?
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

  14. #14
    OfficerResource.com's Avatar
    OfficerResource.com is offline Site Administrator
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    Quote Originally Posted by MountainCop
    Written by Terminator???
    Autobiography

  15. #15
    Prometheus's Avatar
    Prometheus is offline Senior Member
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    Here's one that made it, but probably shouldn't have:

    Shel Silverstein's ABZs
    "Look, just give me some inner peace or I'll mop the floor with you!"

  16. #16
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
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    That was a whole new realm of bad.
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


 

 

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