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03-07-06, 05:54 PM #1
Naughty and Nice
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These are a few children's books that couldn't quite make it
1. You are different and that's bad
2. The boy who died from eating his vegetables
3. Dad's new wife Robert
4. The fun four letter words to know and share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: an I -can-do book
6. The kids guide to hitchhicking
7. Kathy was so bad her mom stopped loving her
8. Curious George and the high voltage fence
9. All cats go to hell
10. The little sissy who snitched
11. Some kittens can fly
12. That's it, I'm putting you up for adoption
13. Grandpa gets a casket
14. The magic world inside the abandoned refigerator
15. Garfield gets feline leukaemia
16. The pop-up book of anatomy
17. Strangers have the best candy
18. Whining, kicking and screaming get you what you want
19. You were an accident
20. Things rich kids have, but you never will
21. Pop goes the hamster....and other microwave games
22. The man on the moon is really Satan
23. Your nightmares are real
24. Where would you like to be buired?
25. Eggs, toilet paper and your school
26. Why can't Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical outlet be friends
27. Places where mommy and daddy hide neat things
28. Daddy drinks because you cry
Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?????
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03-07-06, 06:01 PM #2Cheech Guest
29. the best part of you ran down your mother's leg
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03-07-06, 06:07 PM #3
On The Beat
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# 11 is true; Some kittens can fly.
'The Art of War' teaches us to "Rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's coming, but on our own readiness to receive him"--Sun Tsu
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03-07-06, 09:24 PM #4MountainCop Guest
Yep - all ya gotta do is punt.
And what happened to #29: Flaming Toddlers played with matches ??
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03-07-06, 10:21 PM #5
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#30 You're what happens when mommy rolls over on the wet spot.
#31 Curious George Gets Mauled
#32 Curious George Drowns
#33 Curious George and the Grumpy Tiger (My cat had a curious george toy and tossed it in our aquarium)
#34 For Christ's Sake, Will You Quit Wetting The Damn Bed Already?
#35 Mommy and Daddy Fuck Like Bunnies
#36 We Put The Wrong Twin Up For Adoption\\` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
`` ` ` ` (3--(____)
"...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q
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03-07-06, 10:24 PM #6MountainCop Guest
#37 - Oh, bother, said Pooh, as he field dressed Eeyore and Tigger...
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03-08-06, 02:40 AM #7
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#38 - Why It's Your Fault Daddy Doesn't Love Mommy
"To the German commander: 'Nuts!' The American Commander" - General Tony McAuliffe, 101st Airborne Division
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03-08-06, 03:12 AM #8
THE five-oh
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#39- Why you are the one load your mother should have swallowed.
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03-08-06, 08:30 AM #9
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#40. Bi-curious George.
"Look, just give me some inner peace or I'll mop the floor with you!"
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03-08-06, 08:34 AM #10
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That Is Funny
Originally Posted by Prometheus
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03-08-06, 08:34 AM #11
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Originally Posted by Prometheus
No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13
"The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".
We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.
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03-08-06, 10:07 AM #12MountainCop GuestWritten by Terminator??? Originally Posted by Prometheus
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03-08-06, 12:10 PM #13
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Originally Posted by MountainCop
Written by Terminator???
Based on personal stories?No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13
"The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".
We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.
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03-08-06, 12:35 PM #14
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Autobiography Originally Posted by MountainCop
Written by Terminator???
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03-09-06, 01:26 PM #15
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Here's one that made it, but probably shouldn't have:
Shel Silverstein's ABZs"Look, just give me some inner peace or I'll mop the floor with you!"
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03-09-06, 05:26 PM #16
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That was a whole new realm of bad.
\\` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
`` ` ` ` (3--(____)
"...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q
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