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Thread: Fridays in Hell

  1. #1
    Xiphos's Avatar
    Xiphos is online now I Void Warranties
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    Fridays in Hell

    One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil …
    Satan: ‘Why so glum?’

    Guy: ‘What do you think? I’m in hell!’

    Satan: ‘Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?’

    Guy: ‘Sure, I love to drink.’

    Satan: ‘Well, you’re gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that’s all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab and Fresca. We drink ’til we throw up and then we drink some more! And you don’t have to worry about getting a hangover, because you’re dead anyway.’

    Guy: ‘Gee that sounds great!’

    Satan: ‘You a smoker?’

    Guy: ‘You better believe it’

    Satan: ‘All right! You’re gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie, you’re already dead, remember?’

    Guy: ‘Wow … that’s awesome!’

    Satan: ‘I bet you like to gamble.’

    Guy: ‘Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do.’

    Satan: ‘Good, ’cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn’t matter, you’re dead anyhow.’

    Guy: ‘Cool!’

    Satan: ‘What about drugs?’

    Guy: ‘Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don’t mean …?’

    Satan: ‘That’s right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You’re dead so who cares.’

    Guy: ‘Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!’

    Satan: ‘You gay?’

    Guy: ‘No…’

    Satan: ‘Oooo, Fridays are gonna be tough …
    Pleasing nobody, one person at a time.

    That which does not kill me, better start fucking running.

    If I lived every day like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.

    I intend to go in harm's way. -John Paul Jones

    Hunt the wolf, and bring light to the dark places that others fear to go. LT COL Dave Grossman

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    snuffy2202's Avatar
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    LOL on that one!!
    The strongest reason for the people to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against the tyranny of government.
    -Thomas Jefferson

    That is why our masters in Washington are so anxious to disarm us. They are not afraid of criminals. They are afraid of a populace which cannot be subdued by tyrants.” – Jeff Cooper'

  3. #3
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


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    jcsdscott is offline The short minister
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    ha!
    Romans 8:28-31

    "Anima Sana In Corpore Sano"

    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Sheriff, County Board, or any member of my department.

  5. #5
    CTR man's Avatar
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    Good one!


    Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Not a LEO

    In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
    In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.









 

 

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