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  1. #1
    mavriktu's Avatar
    mavriktu is offline Patrol Sgt.
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    So,ya think you know English??

    Do You Think English is Easy???

    Can you read these right the first time?

    1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

    2) The farm was used to produce produce .

    3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse ..

    4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

    5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

    6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

    7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .

    8) A bass was painted on the head of the bassdrum.

    9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

    10) I did not object to the object.

    11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

    12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row .

    13) They were too close to the door to close it.

    14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

    15) A seamstress and a sewerfell down into a sewer line.

    16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

    17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

    18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

    19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

    20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


    Let's face it - English is a crazy language There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
    Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
    How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

    English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

    PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

    You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

    There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is ' UP.'

    It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wakeUP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UPand why are the officers UP for election and why is itUP to the secretaryto write UP a report ?

    We call UPour friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UPthe silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, lineUPfor tickets, work UP an appetite, and thinkUPexcuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special

    And thisUPis confusing: A drain must be opened UPbecause it is stopped UP.We openUP a store in the morning but we close! it UPat night.
    We seem to be pretty mixedUP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses ofUP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP,you may windUPwith a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is cloudingUP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes thingsUP. When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dryUP ...

    One could go on and on, but I'll wrap itUP , for now my time isUP, so....... Time to shutUP.!

    Oh...one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night? U-P!!

  2. #2
    Second Chance's Avatar
    Second Chance is offline Be the last one standing
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    I knew there was a reason people learning our language have such a hard and or confussing time....................
    Swamp Mafia





    The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
    ~Edmond Burke

    Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and like it, never really care for anything else.
    ~Ernest Hemingway

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Follow me on twitter.........http://twitter.com/SecondChance122





    Disclaimer: The opinions given in my signatures DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS and I accept sole responsibility as such.

  3. #3
    Jenna's Avatar
    Jenna is offline sheep
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  4. #4
    CTR man's Avatar
    CTR man is offline Officer First Class
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    Good, now Jenna's head hurts for a change.


    Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Not a LEO

    In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
    In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.









  5. #5
    10-42Adam's Avatar
    10-42Adam is offline Major
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    Some were tricky but I got through it with very little problems
    Calm Like A Bomb...

    A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.
    -Winston Churchill

  6. #6
    mavriktu's Avatar
    mavriktu is offline Patrol Sgt.
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    Quote Originally Posted by CTR man View Post
    Good, now Jenna's head hurts for a change.

    Do I get an award or sumthin?? Think I am the only one on here been able to do that.

  7. #7
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
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    I didn't have a problem with it at all, but then I peddle the written word.
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  8. #8
    CTR man's Avatar
    CTR man is offline Officer First Class
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    Quote Originally Posted by mavriktu View Post
    Do I get an award or sumthin?? Think I am the only one on here been able to do that.
    How does rep sound? Aargh, I got to spread it around first.


    Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Not a LEO

    In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
    In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.









  9. #9
    Captain America's Avatar
    Captain America is offline Reed and Malloy were my FTOs
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    Quote Originally Posted by CTR man View Post
    How does rep sound? Aargh, I got to spread it around first.
    I got him for you.
    SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM

    "It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
    -Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"

    Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
    -General Omar Bradley, United States Army

    Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens

  10. #10
    Captain America's Avatar
    Captain America is offline Reed and Malloy were my FTOs
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    Quote Originally Posted by CTR man View Post
    Good, now Jenna's head hurts for a change.
    Amen
    SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM

    "It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
    -Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"

    Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
    -General Omar Bradley, United States Army

    Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens

  11. #11
    Jenna's Avatar
    Jenna is offline sheep
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    Quote Originally Posted by CTR man View Post
    Good, now Jenna's head hurts for a change.
    I'll find a way to spread the wealth (socialist that I am!)

  12. #12
    2 Blue 4 U's Avatar
    2 Blue 4 U is offline Retired NYPD
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    Was Throw UP mentioned, it is what happens when you try to read all that!

 

 

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