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  1. #1
    mack's Avatar
    mack is offline Officer Resource Offical Auctioneer
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    NSFW-ADULT HUMOR-NSFW

    I know, I know, you've probably seen some of these a hundred times, but they are still funny!







    Adult Riddles ~

    Q. What is the difference between a Drug Dealer and a Hooker?


    A. A Hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. What's a mixed feeling?


    A. When you see your Mother-In-Law backing off a cliff in your new car.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q What's the height of conceit?


    A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    Q. What's the definition of 'Macho'?


    A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?


    A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?


    A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q.Why is divorce so expensive?


    A. Because it's worth it!


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. What is a Yankee?


    A. The same as a quickie, but a Guy can do it alone.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?


    A. They both like a tight seal.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. What do a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common?


    A. Their balls are just for decoration.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?


    A. About three inches.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?


    A. The grip.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?


    A. It's not hard.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



    Q: What's the difference between a Girlfriend and a Wife?


    A: 45 pounds.


    ~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    Q: What's the difference between a Boyfriend and a Husband?


    A: 45 minutes.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?


    A: Breasts don't have eyes.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



    Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?


    A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

    A . They don't have balls to scratch!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter

  2. #2
    Rhino's Avatar
    Rhino is offline Meat-eater & Fire-breather
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    Really? Light blue text over white background plus red X?



    Thanks for making my eyes bleed at 9am!

    Merry Xmas to you, too! :P
    "If everyone is thinking alike, then someone isn't thinking." -Gen. George S. Patton

  3. #3
    Terminator's Avatar
    Terminator is offline BANNED
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    Those were hilarious!

  4. #4
    mack's Avatar
    mack is offline Officer Resource Offical Auctioneer
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    Hey anything I can do to help wake you up


    Quote Originally Posted by Rhino View Post
    Really? Light blue text over white background plus red X?



    Thanks for making my eyes bleed at 9am!

    Merry Xmas to you, too! :P

    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter

  5. #5
    pgg's Avatar
    pgg
    pgg is offline Damnit, I'm hungry again.
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    Those were good
    'Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
    delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly
    promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which
    holds forth the proposition that it is entirely
    possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!'

    A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity. Sigmund Freud

  6. #6
    CTR man's Avatar
    CTR man is offline Officer First Class
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    Quote Originally Posted by mack View Post
    I know, I know, you've probably seen some of these a hundred times, but they are still funny!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?


    A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    My next question is Does Jenna have a X spray painted on her back?


    Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Not a LEO

    In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
    In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.









 

 

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