The Grocery Store on the Corner
Years ago in my old neighborhood, a widow with two children lived down the street from me. The woman was always struggling, trying to make ends meet and feed her family. She approached the corner grocer and asked if she might have a small line of credit, the grocer, Mr. Harriman told her absolutely not. Harriman then proposed that they could take some groceries out in trade, the widow reluctantly agreed, since she had to feed her kids. She agreed to meet Harriman after he closed the store and they would do their deal.
The widow and Harriman had sex and he gave her two sacks of groceries, and she was on her way. She returned in one week and asked if he would like seconds, as her kitchen cabinets were about empty. Harriman told her that he wasn't really impressed, but if she wanted to go again he would give her one bag of groceries. The widow was a little put off, but she agreed and went to meet Harriman again.
About a month went by and the widow learned she was pregnant; she informed Harriman of her dilemma and he suggested that she terminate the pregnancy and he offered to pay for this. The widow was a devout Catholic and adamantly opposed abortion; she refused Harriman's offer.
After her new son, Johnny was born, she spoke with Harriman, a tightwad, by his own admission. Harriman agreed to give the widow two bags of groceries every week, even though it nearly broke his heart to miss the profits. The widow showed up every Friday to collect her groceries; this went on for eight years. The widow then started sending Little Johnny to the store to get the groceries. Harriman and Johnny never engaged in any conversation, Johnny just went shopping and left the store every Friday with two bags of groceries.
By Harriman's calculations, Little Johnny had reached his eighteenth birthday, so he inquired of Johnny, who confirmed that today is his birthday. Harriman said to Johnny "go home and tell your mother that this is the last groceries she's ever going to get from me" he then told Little Johnny to come back and describe the expression on his mother's face. Johnny agreed and went home to his mother and told her what Harriman had said.
Johnny relayed the information to his mother and she broke out in a giant smile and said to Johnny "go back to Mr. Harriman and tell him that Eddy the plumber is your father, and come back and describe the expression on his face."