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Thread: Lone Ranger

  1. #1
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    Lone Ranger

    The Lone Ranger is captured by Indians...

    The Indian Chief proclaims, 'So, you are the great >
    Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be
    executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you
    three requests.

    What is your first request?'

    The Lone Ranger responds, 'I'd like to speak to my horse.

    The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who
    whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.
    Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman
    on his back.

    As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's
    tent and spends the night.
    The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed.

    'You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in
    two days. What is your second request?'

    The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is
    brought to him, and once again he whispers in the horse's ear.
    As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears
    over the horizon.

    Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns,
    this time with a brunette, even more attractive than the blonde.
    She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and also spends the night.

    The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. He tells
    the Lone Ranger, 'You are indeed a man of many talents, but I still
    kill you tomorrow. 'So what is your last request?'

    The Lone Ranger responds,

    I'd like to speak to my horse.... alone.'
    The Chief is curious, but he agrees and Silver is brought to the
    Lone Ranger's tent.

    *Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears,
    looks him square in the eye and says:

    Listen very carefully you dumb ass horse.

    For the last time . . . BRING POSSEEEE'.

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    "It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
    -Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"

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    -General Omar Bradley, United States Army

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