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  1. #1
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
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    Talking An Appology to the Guy Who Mugged Me Last Night

    *To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah )*

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Reply to: _pers-982078099@craigslist.org_
    <mailtoers-982078099@craigslist.org> [_ ?_
    <http://www.craigslist.org/about/help...ing_to_posts>]

    Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST

    I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I
    hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend.
    You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you
    somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

    I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you
    took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that
    evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had
    just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had
    just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol,
    eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

    I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever
    you'd come from with that brown stinking sludge flopping about in your
    pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your
    shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any
    of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.

    I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell,
    and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on
    your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie
    Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the
    wallet itself in a dumpster.

    I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your
    bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down
    the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I
    don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently
    cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls
    to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

    So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you
    did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to
    you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you
    out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants.
    What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder?

    I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home
    humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in
    life. Next time you might not be so lucky.

    If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

    (\__/)
    (='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
    (")_(") signature to help him gain world domination.

  2. #2
    luckyme's Avatar
    luckyme is offline The bastard you love, the hero you hate
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    Decent joke, but I gotta say I love the sig line. lol

 

 

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