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  1. #1
    JLK's Avatar
    JLK
    JLK is offline Protecting Those That Can't Protect Themselves
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    Male vs. Female @ the ATM machine..

    ********
    *
    *A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
    "Please note that this Bank is installing new
    Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their cars.*Customers using this new facility are*requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.*
    *
    After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender."
    ****************************** * *****************************\ \
    MALE PROCEDURE:*
    ****************************** ****
    *
    1. Drive up to the cash machine.*
    2. LOWER your car window
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.*
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.*
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.*
    6. Raise window.
    7. Drive off.*
    *
    ************************** ****
    FEMALE PROCEDURE:*
    *
    1. Drive up to cash machine.*
    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to
    align car window with the machine.*
    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.*
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.*
    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.*
    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.*
    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.*
    8. Insert card.*
    9. Re-insert card the right way.*
    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.**
    *11. Enter PIN.**
    *12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.*
    13. Enter amount of cash required.*
    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.*
    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.*
    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.*
    17. Write debit amount in check book and place receipt in back of it.*
    18. Re-check makeup.*
    19. Drive forward 2 feet.*
    20. Reverse back to cash machine.*
    21. Retrieve card.*
    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate cardholder, and place card into the slot provided!*
    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.*
    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off*
    25. Redial person on cell phone.*
    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.*
    27. Release Parking Brake.*

  2. #2
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
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    You left out the other 10 steps if she's a smoking & talking on the cell phone at the same time in cars that have no ashtray - a juggling act which I have seen with my own eyes

    (\__/)
    (='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
    (")_(") signature to help him gain world domination.

  3. #3
    aj261's Avatar
    aj261 is offline k-9 cop
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    That is some funny shit......sounds a lot like my wife.......oops don't tell her I said so.

  4. #4
    pgg's Avatar
    pgg
    pgg is offline Damnit, I'm hungry again.
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    I think I saw them doing the test evaluation the other day
    'Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
    delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly
    promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which
    holds forth the proposition that it is entirely
    possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!'

    A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity. Sigmund Freud

  5. #5
    jking09's Avatar
    jking09 is offline Banned
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    bahaha! that's HILARIOUS! i do enjoy the occasional female joke =P
    but some of that is true.. i know i check my makeup sometimes.. but hey! that's multi-tasking!
    and GUYS, don't act like everything is perfectly smooth for you!

 

 

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