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Thread: Redneck Kid

  1. #1
    Wolven's Avatar
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    Talking Redneck Kid

    Red Neck Kid

    Dear Ma and Pa,
    I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother
    Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell
    them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.
    I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed
    till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt
    and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine
    some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to
    split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.
    Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water.
    Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs,
    bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried
    eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can
    always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus
    yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder
    these city boys can't walk much.
    We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says
    are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to
    tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox
    at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in
    The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The
    Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around
    and frown. They don't bother you none.
    This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep
    getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is
    near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting
    at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there
    all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges.
    They come in boxes.
    Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You
    get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though,
    they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at
    home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan
    from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same
    time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near
    300 pounds dry.
    Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before
    other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

    Your loving daughter,
    Never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way" ~Martin Luther King, Jr

  2. #2
    Five-0's Avatar
    Five-0 is offline Super Moderator
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    There is a reason Al Qaeda is skiddish about screwing around down here.

    Meanwhile, fishing in Russia:

    "When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men living together in society, they create for themselves in the course of time a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that justifies it." -- Frederic Bastiat

    "Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." Ernest Hemingway

    The opinions given in my signatures & threads DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Five-0" on Officerresource.com

  3. #3
    pgg's Avatar
    pgg is offline Damnit, I'm hungry again.
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    haha, I believe it, My brother (the Marine) said the hardest part was the shots. He laughed the city boys that were crying for mommy.
    'Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
    delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly
    promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which
    holds forth the proposition that it is entirely
    possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!'

    A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity. Sigmund Freud



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