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  1. #1
    Magnum440 is offline Older Than Dirt
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    Love em or Hate em

    For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
    computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo
    (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the
    auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the
    computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got
    1,000 miles to the gallon."

    In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
    stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
    driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this
    part):

    1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

    2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to
    buy a new car.

    3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You
    would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
    shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
    continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

    4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
    your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
    have to reinstall the engine.

    5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
    reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run
    on only five percent of the roads.

    6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all
    be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation"
    warning light.

    7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

    8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
    and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
    handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

    9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn
    how to drive all over again because! none of the controls would operate
    in the same manner as the old car.

    10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

    Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate -
    their computer!

    OK. I shared. For those out there who do remember the days when you called in a license plate check, warrant inquiry, etc. etc.,and it would take 30 to 60 minutes to get a reply from radio? A computer sure would have been nice. Also, with the situtation as it is today, information has to be shared fast. Yet, do we rely on the darn things to much? Where I work now, when IS department has problems, and no one can operate, there is panic. No one other than older people know what to do. I guess it is a love/hate relationship.
    Facta non verba
    "The good Lord set definite limits on man's wisdom, but set no limits on his stupidity and that's not fair!" Konrad Adenauer,

  2. #2
    Indy Guest
    LMAO!!! That was great!

  3. #3
    Roses's Avatar
    Roses is offline Member
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    Very funny.
    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

  4. #4
    KaiGywer's Avatar
    KaiGywer is offline *insert witty remark here*
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    Oldie, but goodie.

    Shouldn't this be in the jokes section though?
    Alpha Phi Sigma Alum - Alpha Delta Chapter
    ΑΦΣ

  5. #5
    Roses's Avatar
    Roses is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by KaiGywer
    Shouldn't this be in the jokes section though?
    Well it is comments.
    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

  6. #6
    Prometheus's Avatar
    Prometheus is offline Senior Member
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    Good one. I'm moving it to the jokes section.





    Wait a minute - I don't have that power. I feel so impotent.
    "Look, just give me some inner peace or I'll mop the floor with you!"

 

 

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