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  1. #1
    mavriktu's Avatar
    mavriktu is offline Patrol Sgt.
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    Another man vs woman

    MEN and WOMEN

    NICKNAMES

    * If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
    * If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


    EATING OUT

    * When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
    * When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


    MONEY

    * A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    * A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


    BATHROOMS

    * A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap and a towel .
    * The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
    * A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


    ARGUMENTS

    * A woman has the last word in any argument.
    * Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


    FUTURE

    * A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    * A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


    MARRIAGE

    * A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    * A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


    DRESSING UP

    * A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
    * A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


    NATURAL

    * Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    * Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


    OFFSPRING

    * Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
    * A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


    THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

    This for all the women who have a sense of humour and who can handle it ... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.


  2. #2
    Car 4's Avatar
    Car 4 is offline CID Chief
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    Love it....and all true, too.


    Car 4
    I would like my country back. I used to believe that one man could never destroy this country. Not so sure anymore!

  3. #3
    GirlInBrown's Avatar
    GirlInBrown is offline If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong....
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    Well that about sums it all up....now what the heck is so hard to understand about women??

  4. #4
    pgg's Avatar
    pgg
    pgg is online now Damnit, I'm hungry again.
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    I swear that they were spying on me when the wrote this
    'Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
    delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly
    promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which
    holds forth the proposition that it is entirely
    possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!'

    A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity. Sigmund Freud

  5. #5
    mack's Avatar
    mack is offline Officer Resource Offical Auctioneer
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    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter

  6. #6
    Wolven's Avatar
    Wolven is offline Major
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    "Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
    * A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house."


    good one!
    Never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way" ~Martin Luther King, Jr

  7. #7
    Big Al's Avatar
    Big Al is offline There is no place like home....
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    I liked this one

    NATURAL

    * Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    * Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
    To be a good Law Enforcement Officer you MUST know the law!

  8. #8
    altonc27 is offline Rookie
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    Now that was too true and funny

 

 

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