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  1. #1
    slamdunc's Avatar
    slamdunc is offline On The Beat
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    Women's Guide to Understanding Personals

    40-ish........................... .....49
    Adventurous................... ...Slept with everyone.
    Athletic...................... .........No breasts.
    Average looking....................Moo ooooo.
    Beautiful..................... .......Pathological liar.
    Emotionally Secure................On medication.
    Feminist...................... ..........Fat.
    Free spirit........................ ....Junkie.
    Friendship first......................For mer sl*t.
    New-Age........................... .Body hair in the wrong places.
    Old-fashioned..................... ..No BJs.
    Open-minded.......................D esperate.
    Outgoing...................... ....Loud and Embarrassing.
    Professional.................. .......B*tch.
    Voluptuous.................... ......Very Fat.
    Large frame......................... Hugely Fat.
    Wants Soul mate..................Stalker.

    INTERPRETING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

    1. Yes = No
    2. No = Yes
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need = I want
    5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
    6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
    7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
    8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
    9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!
    10 You're attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

    INTERPRETING MEN'S ENGLISH:

    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = Let's have sex now.
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    10 Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
    11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
    'The Art of War' teaches us to "Rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's coming, but on our own readiness to receive him"--Sun Tsu

  2. #2
    Bosco3379's Avatar
    Bosco3379 is offline I'm the one in the middle
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    ahahaha!
    Former member of the LNC

    Will take verbal abuse for spare change

    Some Of My Wicked Awesome Signature Banners

  3. #3
    deputy29 is offline Master Officer
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    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

    LMAO. That is so true! My boyfriend will call or txt me if he's off work before I am and tell me he's bored and want to know when I get off work. It is nice to get home and find a naked man in your bed.

  4. #4
    Prometheus's Avatar
    Prometheus is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by deputy29
    .... It is nice to get home and find a naked man in your bed.
    What time do you get off work?
    "Look, just give me some inner peace or I'll mop the floor with you!"

 

 

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