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  1. #1
    Cidp24's Avatar
    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
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    Talking Gott Love the South..

    The South - You Gotta Love It ...



    Alabama

    A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twosfor the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck."Where's Henry?" the others asked.
    "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied..
    "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
    "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"





    Georgia


    The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about payingan invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

    The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."



    Louisiana

    A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world."





    Mississippi


    The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"

    The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."



    North Carolina


    A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

    The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
    The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"


    The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."



    Tennessee


    A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"The driver replied, "Bout whut?"



    Texas


    The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.


    The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."



    "Yep", he replied. "That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."



    You can say what you want about the South,


    But you never hear of anyone retiring and moving North
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

  2. #2
    Buttercup's Avatar
    Buttercup is offline Thrives in sunshine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post







    North Carolina


    A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

    The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
    The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"



    The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

    Those are all great, but that one made me laugh out loud.




  3. #3
    mack's Avatar
    mack is offline Officer Resource Offical Auctioneer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    You can say what you want about the South,



    But you never hear of anyone retiring and moving North


    Wait a minute, I retired and moved north! From the southernmost USA to Indiana.

    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter

  4. #4
    Captain America's Avatar
    Captain America is offline Reed and Malloy were my FTOs
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    Quote Originally Posted by mack View Post
    Wait a minute, I retired and moved north! From the southernmost USA to Indiana.
    Your Abby Normal..
    SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM

    "It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
    -Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"

    Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
    -General Omar Bradley, United States Army

    Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens

  5. #5
    pgg's Avatar
    pgg
    pgg is offline Damnit, I'm hungry again.
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    Quote Originally Posted by mack View Post
    Wait a minute, I retired and moved north! From the southernmost USA to Indiana.
    That's only cause you got hitched

  6. #6
    BigDawg's Avatar
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    Mack......everyone knows that if you live in Florida you have to travel North just to get to the South!!!!!
    "An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper


    Some people are meant to be the police......Some people are meant to call the police!!!

    "Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it and hell where they already have it."
    -Ronald Reagan


    " I believe that forgiving them (Terrorist) is God's function. OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
    General Norman Schwartzkopf

    Not all Muslims are Terrorists, but all Terrorists are Muslim.
    (author unknown)


    The statements posted by BigDawg DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, or procedures of the author's employing agency. These statements are the personal opinions of BigDawg only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the user name of BigDawg. The opinions expressed by BigDawg are protected by the 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. BigDawg’s messages are intended to invoke thought and discussion among the "Officer Resources" forum community and may not necessarily reflect the opinion of the author. BigDawg’s posts and any attachments are intended for an adult audience (18+) and may contain strong language, sexual content, nudity, violence, and may be graphic in nature. Some material may be considered offensive; reader discretion is advised. Please note that many of BigDawg’s posts are intended for entertainment value only. BigDawg’s posts are not intended to be used where prohibited by law. Furthermore, BigDawg's posts, and any attachments, may contain information covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. 2510-2521, and is confidential and proprietary in nature. If you are not the intended recipient, please be advised that you are legally prohibited from retaining, using, copying, distributing, or otherwise disclosing this information in any manner.

  7. #7
    Five-0's Avatar
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    The Mississippi and Tennessee ones were great.

    Meanwhile, fishing in Russia:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkzV5AIK8iM
    "When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men living together in society, they create for themselves in the course of time a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that justifies it." -- Frederic Bastiat

    "Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." Ernest Hemingway

    The opinions given in my signatures & threads DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Five-0" on Officerresource.com

  8. #8
    IndianaFuzz's Avatar
    IndianaFuzz is offline Policeman Perry fan club
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    I'm about to travel through 3 of those states. Pray for me! Of course those of us from the north want to move south! The reason why is obvious...... We want to be the smartest person in our state!
    CHIRP! CHIRP!

  9. #9
    Captain America's Avatar
    Captain America is offline Reed and Malloy were my FTOs
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndianaFuzz View Post
    I'm about to travel through 3 of those states. Pray for me! Of course those of us from the north want to move south! The reason why is obvious...... We want to be the smartest person in our state!

    Move back to Ball State then.
    SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM

    "It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
    -Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"

    Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
    -General Omar Bradley, United States Army

    Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens

  10. #10
    CTR man's Avatar
    CTR man is offline Officer First Class
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    Quote Originally Posted by mack View Post
    Wait a minute, I retired and moved north! From the southernmost USA to Indiana.
    By way of Kaintuckie That only goes for CONUS, Hawaii is further south than Florida, and that includes the Keys.

    Quote Originally Posted by Captain America View Post
    Your Abby Normal..
    Quote Originally Posted by pgg View Post
    That's only cause you got hitched
    She was living in Kaintuckie when she met him.

    Quote Originally Posted by BigDawg View Post
    Mack......everyone knows that if you live in Florida you have to travel North just to get to the South!!!!!


    Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Not a LEO

    In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
    In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.









  11. #11
    mack's Avatar
    mack is offline Officer Resource Offical Auctioneer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain America View Post
    Your Abby Normal..

    Hmmmm, well that is true.

    pgg, like CTRman says I was living in Kaintuck when I met him.

    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter

  12. #12
    mack's Avatar
    mack is offline Officer Resource Offical Auctioneer
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigDawg View Post
    Mack......everyone knows that if you live in Florida you have to travel North just to get to the South!!!!!


    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter

  13. #13
    TXPO710's Avatar
    TXPO710 is offline Dumb ole' Cowboy
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    I don't get it, what are ya'll laughin about????

  14. #14
    Shoestring's Avatar
    Shoestring is offline Please dont check the trunk...
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    Mississippi was pretty good
    Somebody Please, what the hell is that smell?

    "The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'."

    The views, opinions, stupid off the cuff comments, mouthy, obnoxious, thoughtless, etc etc etc are not always or even some of the time the belief of my department, so bugger off!

 

 

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