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04-06-06, 01:19 PM #1
A man goes to the confessional and begins, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
"What is your sin, my son"? the priest asks back.
"Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible."
"When did you use this awful language"? asks the priest.
"I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."
"Is that when you swore"?
"No, Father," says the man.
"After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away."
"Is that when you swore"? asks the Father again.
"Well, no," says the man.
"You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"
"Is that when you swore"? asks the amazed Priest.
"No, not yet," the man replies.
"As the eagle carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew toward the green. As it passed over a a bit of forest near the green, the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear then"? asks the now impatient Priest.
"No, because as the ball fell, it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock and rolled through a sand trap onto the green and stopped within six inches of the hole."
The Priest screams, "You missed the phucking putt, didn't you?"
.The Swamp Mafia -"Heaven doesn't want us,and Hell's afraid we'll take over!!".
04-06-06, 01:25 PM #2Older Than DirtVerified LEO
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Takes a golfer to appreciate this one. Great!Facta non verba
"The good Lord set definite limits on man's wisdom, but set no limits on his stupidity — and that's not fair!" — Konrad Adenauer,
04-06-06, 03:24 PM #3
I know nothing about golf; I am good at cursing and enjoying a good one.'The Art of War' teaches us to "Rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's coming, but on our own readiness to receive him"--Sun Tsu
04-06-06, 03:46 PM #4
Funny! LOL! I don't think you have to be a golfer to appreciate this one. I can imagine it. Wonder if he bent his club?
A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.
It enriches those who receive it,without making poorer those who give.It takes but a moment, but the memoryof it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that hecan get along without it,and none is so poor but thathe can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home,fosters goodwill in business,and is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary,cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,or stolen, for it is something that is of novalue to anyone until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile.Give them one of yours, as none needs a smileso much as he who has no more to give.
- author unknown
04-07-06, 06:07 AM #5
Putting...perhaps the most frustrating aspect of golf, right behind driving, chipping, fairway shots, rough shots and sandtraps."To the German commander: 'Nuts!' The American Commander" - General Tony McAuliffe, 101st Airborne Division
04-07-06, 06:21 AM #6Cris1102 Guest
04-07-06, 10:00 AM #7"In God we trust, everyone else keep your hands where we can see them."
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