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  1. #1
    213th's Avatar
    213th is offline Solipsist
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    Where do you keep YOUR condoms?

    I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for
    over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little
    thing bothering me ... it was her beautiful younger sister.

    My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and
    generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me,
    and I always got more than a pleasant view of her private parts. It had to
    be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

    One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the
    wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me
    that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She
    told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married
    and committed my life to her sister.

    Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going
    upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up
    and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the
    stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them
    down the stairs at me.

    I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the
    front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and
    behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

    With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very
    happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't ask for a better
    man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

    And the moral of this story is:

    Always keep your condoms in your car!
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

  2. #2
    Cris1102 Guest
    Awww...that was bad 213th!!! Or are we calling you Alaskan now?? HAHA!!

    I was actually proud of the guy myself til I read the very end.

    But it was funny non the less.

  3. #3
    Roses's Avatar
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    They should have waited upstairs.


    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

  4. #4
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
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    Kind of a bummer....

    As soon as the panties got thrown down to him I was gettin' hot and bothered....then the guys family comes into the picture. ugh
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.



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