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Thread: Tiger story

  1. #1
    pgg's Avatar
    pgg is offline Damnit, I'm hungry again.
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    Talking Tiger story

    Twas the night of Thanksgiving, and from out of their house,

    Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by an enraged spouse.

    She wielded a nine iron, and wasn't too merry,

    She'd found a bimbo's phone number in his Blackberry.

    He smashed the fire hydrant, as well as the tree,

    Struggled as he did, to set himself free.

    She swung that club, through the rear glass,

    Yelling and screaming: "I'm gonna kill your ass."

    The lights from the neighbors were soon to show,

    The price to be paid for screwing a ho.

    His car was a wreck, his face was blood-spattered,

    His signature shirt was all torn and tattered.

    He came up with a story, a bit of a tall tale,

    To survive the weekend, not being in jail.

    He'd been cheatin' on Elin, and as the story progressed,

    Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.

    He'd been cheatin' with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,

    With Joselyn, and Kalika...the world heard the whole story.

    From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,

    Tiger's sad, sordid tale was all over the news.

    With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,

    When not in their pants, he was sendin' them text.

    Despite all his cryin' and beggin' and pleadin',

    Tiger's wife went aspendin' -- got her a nice house in Sweden.

    And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,

    "If you're gettin' laid, then I'm gettin' paid."

    She's not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,

    Her prenup made Christmas come early this year!

    He's taking a rest he said, in an attempt to recover,

    And practice his new career now, as Don Juan the great lover
    'Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
    delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly
    promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which
    holds forth the proposition that it is entirely
    possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!'

    A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity. Sigmund Freud

  2. #2
    Jenna's Avatar
    Jenna is offline sheep
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    Captain America's Avatar
    Captain America is offline Reed and Malloy were my FTOs
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    "It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
    -Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"

    Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
    -General Omar Bradley, United States Army


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    CTR man's Avatar
    CTR man is offline Officer First Class
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    Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Not a LEO

    In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
    In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.



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