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  1. #1
    Xiphos's Avatar
    Xiphos is offline I Void Warranties
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    No Sex Since 1955 (NSFW)

    A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic liberal ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

    “Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man.. Is something bothering you?”

    “Negative, ma’am. Just serious by nature.”

    The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.”

    “Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.”

    The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.”

    The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?”

    “1955, ma’am.”

    “Well, there you are. No wonder you’re so serious. You really need to chill out and relax! I mean, no sex since 1955! Come with me.”

    She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to “relax” him several times.

    Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his grizzled bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955.”

    The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, “I hope not; it’s only 2130 now.
    Pleasing nobody, one person at a time.

    That which does not kill me, better start fucking running.

    If I lived every day like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.

    I intend to go in harm's way. -John Paul Jones

    Hunt the wolf, and bring light to the dark places that others fear to go. LT COL Dave Grossman

  2. #2
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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    Bwahahahahahaha!!
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


  3. #3
    Buttercup's Avatar
    Buttercup is offline Thrives in sunshine
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    Hahahahaha!!




  4. #4
    pgg's Avatar
    pgg
    pgg is offline Damnit, I'm hungry again.
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    That's great!!!
    'Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
    delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly
    promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which
    holds forth the proposition that it is entirely
    possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!'

    “A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity.” Sigmund Freud

  5. #5
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    This reminds me of Jack LaLane, the old exercise guy, when he was on the Tonight Show when he was about 75. Johnny Carsen asked him about sex, and Jack replied, "I have sex almost every night." Johnny was surprised, and said "Almost every night?" Jack said "Yup. I almost had sex last night, I almost had sex the night before....."
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  6. #6
    cajunguy's Avatar
    cajunguy is offline I LOVE my ParaOrd .45ACP!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xiphos View Post

    Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his grizzled bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955.”

    The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, “I hope not; it’s only 2130 now.

    Jenna will be along shortly just as soon as she figures out what that means.


    .
    The Swamp Mafia -
    "Heaven doesn't want us,
    and Hell's afraid we'll take over!!"
    .

  7. #7
    rainman1352's Avatar
    rainman1352 is offline Rookie
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    Thats a good one, I am going to copy it and send it to a Marine friend of mine.

  8. #8
    Jenna's Avatar
    Jenna is offline sheep
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    Quote Originally Posted by cajunguy View Post
    Jenna will be along shortly just as soon as she figures out what that means.


    .
    I'm still running 1955 and 2130 through all the search engines to find out the significance of those years....

  9. #9
    cajunguy's Avatar
    cajunguy is offline I LOVE my ParaOrd .45ACP!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenna View Post
    I'm still running 1955 and 2130 through all the search engines to find out the significance of those years....
    Did I call it - - or WHAT???

    Stii luv ya though, Jen.



    .
    The Swamp Mafia -
    "Heaven doesn't want us,
    and Hell's afraid we'll take over!!"
    .

  10. #10
    WyomingSunrise's Avatar
    WyomingSunrise is offline Officer First Class
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