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Thread: No Sex Since 1955 (NSFW)
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04-01-10, 07:00 PM #1
I Void Warranties
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No Sex Since 1955 (NSFW)
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic liberal ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
“Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man.. Is something bothering you?”
“Negative, ma’am. Just serious by nature.”
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.”
“Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.”
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.”
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when was the last time you had sex?”
“1955, ma’am.”
“Well, there you are. No wonder you’re so serious. You really need to chill out and relax! I mean, no sex since 1955! Come with me.”
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to “relax” him several times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his grizzled bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955.”
The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, “I hope not; it’s only 2130 now.That which does not kill me, better start fucking running.
If I lived every day like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.
I intend to go in harm's way. -John Paul Jones
Hunt the wolf, and bring light to the dark places that others fear to go. LT COL Dave Grossman
I'd be a better people person if I was around better people.
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04-01-10, 07:18 PM #2
Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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Bwahahahahahaha!!
Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me
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R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012
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04-01-10, 07:39 PM #3
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Hahahahaha!!
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04-01-10, 09:07 PM #4
Damnit, I'm hungry again.
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That's great!!!
'Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly
promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which
holds forth the proposition that it is entirely
possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!'
“A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity.” Sigmund Freud
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04-01-10, 09:27 PM #5
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This reminds me of Jack LaLane, the old exercise guy, when he was on the Tonight Show when he was about 75. Johnny Carsen asked him about sex, and Jack replied, "I have sex almost every night." Johnny was surprised, and said "Almost every night?" Jack said "Yup. I almost had sex last night, I almost had sex the night before....."
For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.
Winston Churchill
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04-01-10, 10:07 PM #6
I LOVE my ParaOrd .45ACP!
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Originally Posted by Xiphos
Jenna will be along shortly just as soon as she figures out what that means.
.The Swamp Mafia -"Heaven doesn't want us,and Hell's afraid we'll take over!!"
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04-14-10, 09:28 AM #7
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Thats a good one, I am going to copy it and send it to a Marine friend of mine.
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04-14-10, 09:46 AM #8
sheep
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I'm still running 1955 and 2130 through all the search engines to find out the significance of those years.... Originally Posted by cajunguy
Jenna will be along shortly just as soon as she figures out what that means.
.
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04-14-10, 11:18 AM #9
I LOVE my ParaOrd .45ACP!
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Did I call it - - or WHAT??? Originally Posted by Jenna
I'm still running 1955 and 2130 through all the search engines to find out the significance of those years.... 
Stii luv ya though, Jen.
.The Swamp Mafia -"Heaven doesn't want us,and Hell's afraid we'll take over!!" .
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04-15-10, 04:31 PM #10
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