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  1. #1
    katiemh Guest

    Modern day Abbott and Costello

    In today's world, Bud ABBOTT and Lou COSTELLO's famous sketch "Who's on first?" might have turned out something like this....

    COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . . . .

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
    COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about
    buying a computer.

    ABBOTT: Mac?
    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

    ABBOTT: Your computer?
    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

    ABBOTT: Mac?
    COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

    ABBOTT: What about Windows?
    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

    ABBOTT: Office.
    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

    ABBOTT: I just did.
    COSTELLO: You just did what?

    ABBOTT: Recommend something.
    COSTELLO: You recommended something?

    ABBOTT: Yes.
    COSTELLO: For my office?

    ABBOTT: Yes.
    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

    ABBOTT: Office.
    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
    COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

    ABBOTT: Word.
    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: Word in Office.
    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

    ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
    COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of your
    business. Just tell me what I need!

    ABBOTT: Real One.
    COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I watch them?

    ABBOTT: Of course.
    COSTELLO: Great! With what?

    ABBOTT: Real One.
    COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?

    ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
    COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

    ABBOTT: The blue "1".
    COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?

    ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
    COSTELLO: What word?

    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
    COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for windows"!

    ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
    COSTELLO: It is?

    ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
    COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

    ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part of
    Office.
    COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial bookkeeping?
    You have anything I can track my money with?

    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer?
    COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

    ABBOTT: One copy.
    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

    A FEW DAYS LATER . . .
    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
    ABBOTT: Click on "START" . . .

  2. #2
    Bosco3379's Avatar
    Bosco3379 is offline I'm the one in the middle
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    ahaha, that was great!
    Former member of the LNC

    Will take verbal abuse for spare change

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  3. #3
    Roses's Avatar
    Roses is offline Member
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    HA HA! That was good!
    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

 

 

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