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  1. #1
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
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    In the spirit of "one upping"...

    Here you go. I've read TFLN, Shit my dad says, and E-mail asshole before. This is one that is a little less known.

    It's a blog written by the wife of a guy in the UK. Her husband is a very mild mannered, professional, and meek man. But when he sleeps, he talks. And it's funny, awkward, and vulgar speak. She writes it down every night and posts it online.

    Some highlights:


    "Blinding like lightning. Thunder is my roar. Feel my awesome power."


    (mumbles a bit, then) "Bop one.... bop two... bop three.... dink... dink.... I'm counting bops. Not dinks. You can shove your dinks where the sun don't shine."


    "It's growling. Shhh, it's growling closer... It's an angry thing, a big angry thing. It likes cabbage, though... I can't stop it growling! Shhh... You're not much fucking help."


    "You can't do that to a jellyfish. I'm calling the authorities. You dirty jelly molester."


    "If I'm gonna be in charge, I need a cape. You can't do the job without a cape. Take me to the cape tailor."



    "Hey, who put my elbows on backwards?! That's not fucking funny!"





    "Damnit, I'm gonna be late. I've run out of nipple glue! Always at the worst times."




    Sleep Talkin' Man
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

  2. #2
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
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    Damn, I think I've had his dreams before!
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
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    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  3. #3
    Second Chance's Avatar
    Second Chance is offline Be the last one standing
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    I've seen/read that before, this guy has some wicked dreams.........;-)
    Swamp Mafia





    The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
    ~Edmond Burke

    Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and like it, never really care for anything else.
    ~Ernest Hemingway

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    Follow me on twitter.........http://twitter.com/SecondChance122





    Disclaimer: The opinions given in my signatures DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS and I accept sole responsibility as such.

  4. #4
    Jenna's Avatar
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    What if it is we who are part of his dream, and his dreams that are the reality?

  5. #5
    Buttercup's Avatar
    Buttercup is offline Thrives in sunshine
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    Quote Originally Posted by Second Chance View Post
    I've seen/read that before, this guy has some wicked dreams.........;-)
    So have I, and yes he does!


    "You can tell that turkey when it comes back here that it's not welcome. You tell it gooooood."




  6. #6
    Xiphos's Avatar
    Xiphos is offline I Void Warranties
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    Pleasing nobody, one person at a time.

    That which does not kill me, better start fucking running.

    If I lived every day like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.

    I intend to go in harm's way. -John Paul Jones

    Hunt the wolf, and bring light to the dark places that others fear to go. LT COL Dave Grossman

  7. #7
    Buttercup's Avatar
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