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  1. #1
    ms1600's Avatar
    ms1600 is offline Neither here nor there
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    Mental Health Hotline

    Thank you for calling the Mental Health Hotline.
    Please listen to our menu and make the appropriate selection.

    If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
    If you are co-dependent, have someone press 2 for you.
    If you have a multiple personality disorder, press 3,4,5, and 6.
    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we will trace your call.
    If you are delusional, press 7 and the call will be transferred to the mother ship.
    If you are schizophrenic, the voice inside your head will tell you which number to press.
    If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
    If you are dyslexic, press 69696969696969.
    If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
    If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
    If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
    If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
    If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
    If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you.
    Verified Libra- There sure are a lot of people born in August around here.

    Sometimes you get the bear, sometimes he gets you.

  2. #2
    Jenna's Avatar
    Jenna is offline sheep
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    What if more than one applies?

 

 

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