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04-23-06, 11:25 AM #1
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Trying to get the Preacher to Stay
The Preacher explains that he must move on to a large congregation that will pay him more.
There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave.
Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up and proclaims:
"If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!"
The congregation sighs in appreciation, and applauds. Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says: "If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!"
More sighs and loud applause.
Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the preacher stays,I will give him sex,"There is total silence.
The Preacher, blushing, asks her: "Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?"
Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side while his wife replies:
"Well,I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said......
"Screw the Preacher."'The Art of War' teaches us to "Rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's coming, but on our own readiness to receive him"--Sun Tsu
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04-24-06, 02:49 PM #2
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Hee Hee!
LOL!
A Smile
A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.
It enriches those who receive it,without making poorer those who give.It takes but a moment, but the memoryof it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that hecan get along without it,and none is so poor but thathe can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home,fosters goodwill in business,and is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary,cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,or stolen, for it is something that is of novalue to anyone until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile.Give them one of yours, as none needs a smileso much as he who has no more to give.
- author unknown
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04-24-06, 03:33 PM #3
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That's awesome
No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13
"The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".
We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.
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