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12-24-10, 11:46 PM #1
Wikileaks to release classified documents from Santa Claus, including the Naughty ListWikileaks founder Julian Assange said Friday that his website had gained access to financial records, memos and other records of the global operations of Santa Claus, including the highly classified Naughty List.
Assange said the Naughty List would be posted on the Wikileaks site on Christmas Day to expose what has become a corrupt system in which powerful figures have been able to buy their way off the list.
Payments to North Pole Inc. from BP that sealed a deal halting shipments of lumps of coal to those on the Naughty List and instead substituting globs of oil mixed with beach sand.
Internal memos show that more than 6,500 elves were laid off in 2002 when North Pole Inc.ís electronics division was outsourced to China.
Bonuses to top elves doubled in 2009 after North Pole received a $652 billion federal bailout. Memos indicate that Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner approved the bailout, arguing that North Pole Inc. had become too big to fail and a collapse would severely impact retail markets.
Governments around the world reacted sharply to the news that the Naughty List would be posted. Several threatened to restrict Santaís access to their air space.
North Korean media threatened war with the North Pole if Kim Jong Ilís name appears on the list.
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