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Thread: The Outhouse

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    The Outhouse

    Early one morning, Tee Jean was walking along the bank of Bayou Que de Tortue behind his house. All of a sudden, he noticed that the family outhouse, located right on the bank, was tilting dangerously toward the bayou; the heavy downpour from the previous night had serious eroded the bank where the outhouse was located. Being a boy (and a pretty canaille one at that) and reasoning that the outhouse was beyond salvage, Tee Jean picked up a big stick and whacked the outhouse - really peléed it - and watched as the outhouse toppled over, fell into the bayou, and quickly sank under the muddy waters. A few hours later, Tee Jean's father came up to him and with anger in his voice asked, "Tee Jean, did you knock that outhouse into the bayou?" "Papa," the boy answered, "like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie. I did it." "Mais, Tee Jean, come with me maintenant to the woodshed. You are going to get the whipping of your life!" Tee Jean was shocked by this turn of events and said, "Papa, when George Washington told his papa that he had chopped down the cherry tree, his papa didn't give him a whipping." "Mais no, Tee Jean," said his father, "but George Washington's papa wasn't in that cherry tree when he cut it down, either.
    *************************
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    That reminds me of when Captain America told me about the first outhouse he built. He said he didn't know how deep to dig the hole, so his Daddy told him dig the hole, put some water in it and take a poop. He told him "When you can count to five before you hear slash, the hole is deep enough." Captain dug the hole, put the water in and sat down to put it to the test. He started counting and when he got to thirty, he called his Daddy in. "Daddy," he said, "I took a dump like you told me too and counted to thirty and I still didn't hear no splash." "Son," he replied, "you gotta take your pants down first."
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

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    Quote Originally Posted by keith720 View Post
    That reminds me of when Captain America told me about the first outhouse he built. He said he didn't know how deep to dig the hole, so his Daddy told him dig the hole, put some water in it and take a poop. He told him "When you can count to five before you hear slash, the hole is deep enough." Captain dug the hole, put the water in and sat down to put it to the test. He started counting and when he got to thirty, he called his Daddy in. "Daddy," he said, "I took a dump like you told me too and counted to thirty and I still didn't hear no splash." "Son," he replied, "you gotta take your pants down first."

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    Quote Originally Posted by keith720 View Post
    That reminds me of when Captain America told me about the first outhouse he built. He said he didn't know how deep to dig the hole, so his Daddy told him dig the hole, put some water in it and take a poop. He told him "When you can count to five before you hear slash, the hole is deep enough." Captain dug the hole, put the water in and sat down to put it to the test. He started counting and when he got to thirty, he called his Daddy in. "Daddy," he said, "I took a dump like you told me too and counted to thirty and I still didn't hear no splash." "Son," he replied, "you gotta take your pants down first."

    HAHAHAHAHA!!
    *************************
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    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


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    Quote Originally Posted by keith720 View Post
    That reminds me of when Captain America told me about the first outhouse he built. He said he didn't know how deep to dig the hole, so his Daddy told him dig the hole, put some water in it and take a poop. He told him "When you can count to five before you hear slash, the hole is deep enough." Captain dug the hole, put the water in and sat down to put it to the test. He started counting and when he got to thirty, he called his Daddy in. "Daddy," he said, "I took a dump like you told me too and counted to thirty and I still didn't hear no splash." "Son," he replied, "you gotta take your pants down first."

    KEITH ON THE THRONE AT HIS DOUBLE -WIDE.
    SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM

    "It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
    -Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"

    Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
    -General Omar Bradley, United States Army

    Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens

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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain America View Post

    KEITH ON THE THRONE AT HIS DOUBLE -WIDE.
    At least I'm not counting, waiting for the splash!
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

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    So I was going to post a pic and kid with both of you....

    NEVER, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, Google "two big hairy guy pic"
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by keith720 View Post
    At least I'm not counting, waiting for the splash!
    Notice the lack of toliet paper......... Remind me not to shake hands with you when I see you again big fella.
    SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM

    "It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
    -Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"

    Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
    -General Omar Bradley, United States Army

    Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens

  10. #10
    Captain America's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    So I was going to post a pic and kid with both of you....

    NEVER, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, Google "two big hairy guy pic"
    RSA special ???
    SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM

    "It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
    -Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"

    Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
    -General Omar Bradley, United States Army

    Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain America View Post
    RSA special ???

    Just a horrendous list of choices.
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

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    Quote Originally Posted by keith720 View Post
    That reminds me of when Captain America told me about the first outhouse he built. He said he didn't know how deep to dig the hole, so his Daddy told him dig the hole, put some water in it and take a poop. He told him "When you can count to five before you hear slash, the hole is deep enough." Captain dug the hole, put the water in and sat down to put it to the test. He started counting and when he got to thirty, he called his Daddy in. "Daddy," he said, "I took a dump like you told me too and counted to thirty and I still didn't hear no splash." "Son," he replied, "you gotta take your pants down first."




 

 

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