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Thread: Hillbilly Vasectomy
06-16-11, 01:45 PM #1
THE HILLBILLY VASECTOMY
After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.
So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. 'A less costly alternative,' said the doctor, 'is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can (COORS), then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.'
The Alabamian said to the doctor, 'I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me.'
'Trust me,' said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.
He held the can up to his ear and began to count!
At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and continued counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, Mississippi, Parts of Georgia, Missouri, West Virginia, both Carolinas, and All of Washington DC.
06-16-11, 08:28 PM #2
ETA: I know that guy.Job security...
Ecclesiastes 8:11 Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil.
06-16-11, 09:12 PM #3Romans 8:28-31
"Anima Sana In Corpore Sano"
The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Sheriff, County Board, or any member of my department.
06-16-11, 10:01 PM #4
Just 'cause you've been watching Swamp People don't mean we're ALL a buncha dumb coonasses.
Some of us actually speak the English language. (Unlike those swamp rats they depict us as all being.)
That and we do not have webs 'tween our toes - - and we don't always eat road-kill (well almost not always). And on top of that we actually drive cars and trucks and have real highways. (Oh wait, we are talking Looziana here - which undoubtably has the worst roads in the Country.)
Now, let me see. Where DID I leave that paddle for my pirogue?
.The Swamp Mafia -"Heaven doesn't want us,and Hell's afraid we'll take over!!".
06-16-11, 11:58 PM #5Officer First ClassVerified C/O
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See... now when I read the title of the thread, my first thought was....
"Kick his sister in the jaw"???
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