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Thread: California Driver's License Exam
05-04-06, 07:06 AM #1
California Driver's License Exam
For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan Area.
GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:
Name:__________________ Stage name:____________________
Agent:_________________ Attorney:_____________________ _
Sex: ___male ___female ___formerly male
___formerly female ____both
*If female, indicate breast implant size: _______
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to
safely operate a motor vehicle in any way?
Yes___ No ___
Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
*If you don't own a cell phone,
please explain:______________________ __
Please check hair color:
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ]
Blue [ ] Skinhead
Please check activities you perform while driving:
(Check all that apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Shaving (male or female)
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for your
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop
[ ] Discharging firearms / Reloading
Please indicate how many times you expect to:
a) shoot at other drivers _____
b) be shot at while driving _____
If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should
a) Call the police to report the crime.
b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch
your car on the news in a high-speed chase.
c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against
cellular phone company for 911 call not going through.
d) Call your therapist.
In the event of an earthquake, you should :
a) stop your car.
b) keep driving and hope for the best.
c) immediately use your cell phone to call all loved
d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for
In the instance of rain, you should:
a) never drive over 5 MPH.
b) drive twice as fast as usual.
c) you're not sure what "rain" is.
Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week:
Are you presently taking any of the following
g) All of the above
h) None of the above
*If none, please explain: __________________.
Length of daily commute:
a) Less than 1 hour
b) 1 hour
c) 2 hours
d) 3 hours
e) 4 hours or more
* If less than 1 hour, please explain:________________.
When stopped by police, you should:
a) pull over and have your driver's license and
insurance form ready.
b) try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the
c) have your video camera ready and provoke them to
attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit.
When turning, you should always signal your intentions
a) using your directional signals.
b) what is a "directional signal"?
Which part of your car will wear out most often?
a) the wiper blades
b) the belts
c) the horn
Automatic door locks are good for:
c) messing with the heads of people trying to get in
The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:
a) dark, poorly lit roads
b) flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
Your rear view mirror is for:
a) watching for approaching cars
b) watching for approaching police cars
c) checking your hair
A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.
It enriches those who receive it,without making poorer those who give.It takes but a moment, but the memoryof it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that hecan get along without it,and none is so poor but thathe can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home,fosters goodwill in business,and is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary,cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,or stolen, for it is something that is of novalue to anyone until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile.Give them one of yours, as none needs a smileso much as he who has no more to give.
- author unknown
05-05-06, 12:55 AM #2bad to the bone
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Are there any incorrect answers?
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