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  1. #1
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    California Driver's License Exam

    For those of you who are not "fortunate" enough to live in California, here is a copy of the California Driver's Exam, and for those of you who do, study real hard. This is a new exam. Since driving conditions (and culture) are unique in Los Angeles, you may not have realized that the California Department of Motor Vehicles has now issued a special application and driver's test solely for the Los Angeles Metropolitan Area.


    Name:__________________ Stage name:____________________

    Agent:_________________ Attorney:_____________________ _

    Therapist name:_________________

    Sex: ___male ___female ___formerly male
    ___formerly female ____both

    *If female, indicate breast implant size: _______
    Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to
    safely operate a motor vehicle in any way?
    Yes___ No ___

    Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
    *If you don't own a cell phone,
    please explain:______________________ __

    Please check hair color:

    Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
    Teenagers: [ ] Red [ ] Orange [ ] Green [ ] Purple [ ]
    Blue [ ] Skinhead

    Please check activities you perform while driving:
    (Check all that apply)

    [ ] Eating
    [ ] Drinking Starbucks coffee
    [ ] Applying make-up
    [ ] Shaving (male or female)
    [ ] Talking on the phone
    [ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
    [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
    [ ] Tanning
    [X] Snorting cocaine (already checked for your
    [ ] Watching TV
    [ ] Reading Variety
    [ ] Surfing the net via laptop
    [ ] Discharging firearms / Reloading

    Please indicate how many times you expect to:

    a) shoot at other drivers _____
    b) be shot at while driving _____

    If you are the victim of a carjacking, you should

    a) Call the police to report the crime.
    b) Call Channel 9 News to report the crime, then watch
    your car on the news in a high-speed chase.
    c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against
    cellular phone company for 911 call not going through.
    d) Call your therapist.

    In the event of an earthquake, you should :

    a) stop your car.
    b) keep driving and hope for the best.
    c) immediately use your cell phone to call all loved
    d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for
    Channel 9.

    In the instance of rain, you should:

    a) never drive over 5 MPH.
    b) drive twice as fast as usual.
    c) you're not sure what "rain" is.

    Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week:

    Are you presently taking any of the following

    a) Prozac
    b) Zovirax
    c) Lithium
    d) Zanax
    e) Valium
    f) Zoloft
    g) All of the above
    h) None of the above
    *If none, please explain: __________________.

    Length of daily commute:

    a) Less than 1 hour
    b) 1 hour
    c) 2 hours
    d) 3 hours
    e) 4 hours or more
    * If less than 1 hour, please explain:________________.

    When stopped by police, you should:

    a) pull over and have your driver's license and
    insurance form ready.
    b) try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the
    405 Freeway.
    c) have your video camera ready and provoke them to
    attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit.

    When turning, you should always signal your intentions

    a) using your directional signals.
    b) what is a "directional signal"?

    Which part of your car will wear out most often?

    a) the wiper blades
    b) the belts
    c) the horn

    Automatic door locks are good for:

    a) security
    b) convenience
    c) messing with the heads of people trying to get in

    The "bright" setting on your headlights is for:

    a) dark, poorly lit roads
    b) flashing to get the car ahead to move out of the way
    c) revenge!

    Your rear view mirror is for:

    a) watching for approaching cars
    b) watching for approaching police cars
    c) checking your hair

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

  2. #2
    Daynathepayna is offline bad to the bone
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    Are there any incorrect answers?



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