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Thread: a smart woman

  1. #1
    JLK's Avatar
    JLK
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    a smart woman

    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?










    When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me ..."



    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
    Ben

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)


    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan



  2. #2
    keith720's Avatar
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    OK, now you got me started....Why are a woman's feet so small?







    So she can stand closer to the stove.
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  3. #3
    Captain America's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by keith720 View Post
    OK, now you got me started....Why are a woman's feet so small?







    So she can stand closer to the stove.

    O.K. now you got me started........


    Your prospective is distorted Keith , everybody's feet are small compared to you.


    SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM

    "It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
    -Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"

    Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
    -General Omar Bradley, United States Army

    Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens

  4. #4
    ms1600's Avatar
    ms1600 is offline Neither here nor there
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    A man gets home from work and sits down in front of the TV.
    He yells to his wife, "Bring me a beer before it starts!"
    He downs it quickly and yells again, "Bring me another beer before it starts!"
    He downs the second one quickly and yells a third time, "Bring me another beer before it starts!"
    She brings him his 3rd beer and nags, "What are you going to do, drink beer and watch TV all night?"
    And that was when the fight started.
    Verified Libra- There sure are a lot of people born in August around here.

    Sometimes you get the bear, sometimes he gets you.

  5. #5
    213th's Avatar
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    Okay


    How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?

























    Who cares, she can cook in the dark.
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

  6. #6
    keith720's Avatar
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    Why did the feminist cross the road?



    Who cares? What's she doing out of the kitchen.
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  7. #7
    Cidp24's Avatar
    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
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    All y'all might as well lay down and start stinkin' if you're wives/girlfriends see this cause you're gonna be murdered


    It is pretty funny though.
    *************************
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    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
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    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

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    keith720's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    All y'all might as well lay down and start stinkin' if you're wives/girlfriends see this cause you're gonna be murdered


    It is pretty funny though.
    I aint skeered of no girls!
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  9. #9
    keith720's Avatar
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    Why do women get their periods?



    Because they deserve them!
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  10. #10
    cajunguy's Avatar
    cajunguy is online now I LOVE my ParaOrd .45ACP!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    All y'all might as well lay down and start stinkin' if you're wives/girlfriends see this cause you're gonna be murdered


    It is pretty funny though.
    Therein lies the beauty of having, not only an ex, but an ex who doesn't have (or want) internet access. .. YAY me!


    ..
    The Swamp Mafia -
    "Heaven doesn't want us,
    and Hell's afraid we'll take over!!"
    .

  11. #11
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    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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    My step father had this little gem taped to his dresser mirror.

    A married man was always complaining that his wife could never do anything right. In a desperate measure to appease her husband the dutiful wife prepared him breakfast which would be eggs. She measured all the right ingredients, had the stove fire just right, and produced too perfectly cooked eggs. The wife, so very proud of her self, presented the eggs to her husband at the table convinced he could have no complaint. The husband looks at the plate, looks at his wife, shakes his head and promptly states "I can't believe you screwed up again." The wife quickly shoots back her disbelief and asks what could possible be wrong with her perfectly cooked eggs. The husband states he can't believe the wife can't see the obvious.













    "You cooked the wrong egg first."




    My mother's reply after reading that......





    "You're step father is an asshole." (and I quote)
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


 

 

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