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  1. #1
    slamdunc's Avatar
    slamdunc is offline On The Beat
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    12-30-05
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    Illinois
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    Questions and Answers

    Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
    A: It's Braille for suck here.

    Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
    A: It's the same as a French kiss, but only "down under."

    Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
    A: Melt them
    down, make a tire, and call it a Good Year.

    Q: WHY ARE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
    A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But then they go,
    they
    take your house and car with them.

    Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
    A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch
    'The Art of War' teaches us to "Rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's coming, but on our own readiness to receive him"--Sun Tsu

  2. #2
    MonsterMash's Avatar
    MonsterMash is offline Proud 3%er
    Join Date
    05-04-06
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    A high school boy goes to the drugstore and buys a 3 pack of condoms. One each for Fri, Sat, and Sun.

    A college guy goes in and buys 2 3 packs of condoms. Two each for Fri, Sat and Sun.

    A married man goes in and buys a 12 pack of condoms.......one for each month.
    Are you a 3%er? If you aren't, you should be.

  3. #3
    Roses's Avatar
    Roses is offline Member
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    Both jokes are funny!
    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

  4. #4
    refusetostop's Avatar
    refusetostop is offline Special Operations
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    05-08-06
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    Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder

    1. All the DNA is the same.
    2. There are no dental records.

    MY FATHER, when he was a police officer, was manning the radar device one day. Suddenly a car came whipping down the highway. Spotting the police car, the driver stomped on the brakes and screeched to a halt. He leapt out and ran to my father's cruiser, threw a cigar in the window, and then tore back to his car and took off in a cloud of dust. On the cigar was printed, IT'S A GIRL.

    A POLICEMAN heard this plea on his radio: "Does anyone know where I'm at? I'm all screwed up." It was a patrolman who had lost his way. Another voice rang out, bold and authoritative: "Would the officer making that last transmission please identify himself?" After a short silence, a third unidentified voice said, "He's not that screwed Up.
    Obedience of the law is demanded; not asked as a favor.
    Theodore Roosevelt

  5. #5
    Roses's Avatar
    Roses is offline Member
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    Lol!
    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

  6. #6
    Daynathepayna is offline bad to the bone
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    Those are good!

 

 

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