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Thread: Chuck Norris

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    keith720's Avatar
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    Chuck Norris

    Chuck Norris was born on May 6th, 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered May 7th, 1945. Coincidence?
    Thirdwatch and Jackrabbit26 like this.
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

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    Interesting, Keith!

    I heard that ghosts sit around campfires and tell Chuck Norris stories.




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    Chuck Norris doesn't teabag , he potatoe sacks.
    Thirdwatch likes this.
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

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    Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.




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    To Live Is To Eat

    IMG could turn a conversation about the weather into a mouthwatering food story. - Cidp24

    And always add bacon! - Shad Kirton, Co-owner/Chef Smokey D's

    There are no stupid questions, just stupid people asking questions.

    Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Solomon

    We were all born wild. It was up to our parents to domesticate us.

  6. #6
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    When the boogeyman goes to sleep , he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
    SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM

    "It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
    -Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"

    Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
    -General Omar Bradley, United States Army

    Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens

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    Chuck Norris puts the laughter in Manslaughter
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

  8. #8
    Jenna's Avatar
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    Chuck Norris endorsed Mike Huckabee.

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    The tears of Chuck Norris can cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried.
    The world would be much cleaner if blind people carried brooms instead of sticks.

    At communion, when the priest says "Body of Christ", I say "Thanks, I've been working out", then I grab the cracker and run back to my seat

    An amateur practices until he gets it right. A professional practices until he cant get it wrong.

    They've got us surrounded? Good. Now we can fire in any direction. Those bastards won't get away this time.

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    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenna View Post
    Chuck Norris endorsed Mike Huckabee.
    Well, then, that pretty much says who I'd endorse if he were running!
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by keith720 View Post
    Well, then, that pretty much says who I'd endorse if he were running!
    Does it matter if he's running or not?

    If Chuck Norris endorsed him, well let's just all say Hail to President Huckabee.

    Chuck endorsed him - - - end of story.

    (Maybe he'll move into the White House - - like - - TOMORROW?)

    Think about how much money we'll save by not needing an election now.


    .
    The Swamp Mafia -
    "Heaven doesn't want us,
    and Hell's afraid we'll take over!!"
    .

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    Superman wears Chuck Norris underoos.

  14. #14
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    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
    Ben

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)


    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan



  15. #15
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    Chuck Norris has a Gmail account.

    gmail@chucknorris.com
    rob84 likes this.
    Pleasing nobody, one person at a time.

    That which does not kill me, better start fucking running.

    If I lived every day like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.

    I intend to go in harm's way. -John Paul Jones

    Hunt the wolf, and bring light to the dark places that others fear to go. LT COL Dave Grossman

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    Pleasing nobody, one person at a time.

    That which does not kill me, better start fucking running.

    If I lived every day like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.

    I intend to go in harm's way. -John Paul Jones

    Hunt the wolf, and bring light to the dark places that others fear to go. LT COL Dave Grossman

  17. #17
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    Chuck Norris once got pulled over by a traffic cop. The traffic cop was lucky to get off with just a warning.




  18. #18
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    Chuck Norris sued NBC for copyright infringement. His legs were already named "Law" and "Order".
    The views expressed in the above post are the sole opinion of the author and do not reflect any official position by the author's employer and/or municipality.

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    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
    Ben

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)


    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan



  20. #20
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    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
    Ben

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)


    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan



 

 
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