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Thread: Chuck Norris
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12-09-11, 06:00 PM #1
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris was born on May 6th, 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered May 7th, 1945. Coincidence?
For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.
Winston Churchill
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12-09-11, 06:08 PM #2
Interesting, Keith!
I heard that ghosts sit around campfires and tell Chuck Norris stories.
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12-09-11, 06:32 PM #3
Chuck Norris doesn't teabag , he potatoe sacks.
For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.
Winston Churchill
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12-09-11, 08:12 PM #4
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

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12-09-11, 08:43 PM #5
To Live Is To Eat
IMG could turn a conversation about the weather into a mouthwatering food story. - Cidp24
And always add bacon! - Shad Kirton, Co-owner/Chef Smokey D's
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people asking questions.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. - Solomon
We were all born wild. It was up to our parents to domesticate us.
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12-09-11, 10:14 PM #6
When the boogeyman goes to sleep , he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM-Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"
"It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
-General Omar Bradley, United States Army
Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens
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12-10-11, 09:23 AM #7
Chuck Norris puts the laughter in Manslaughter
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12-10-11, 09:25 AM #8
Chuck Norris endorsed Mike Huckabee.
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12-10-11, 10:10 AM #9
The tears of Chuck Norris can cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris has never cried.
The world would be much cleaner if blind people carried brooms instead of sticks.
At communion, when the priest says "Body of Christ", I say "Thanks, I've been working out", then I grab the cracker and run back to my seat
An amateur practices until he gets it right. A professional practices until he cant get it wrong.
They've got us surrounded? Good. Now we can fire in any direction. Those bastards won't get away this time.
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12-10-11, 10:34 AM #10\\` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
`` ` ` ` (3--(____)
"...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q

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12-10-11, 02:58 PM #11
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12-10-11, 03:32 PM #12
Does it matter if he's running or not?
If Chuck Norris endorsed him, well let's just all say Hail to President Huckabee.
Chuck endorsed him - - - end of story.
(Maybe he'll move into the White House - - like - - TOMORROW?)
Think about how much money we'll save by not needing an election now.
.The Swamp Mafia -"Heaven doesn't want us,and Hell's afraid we'll take over!!"
.
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12-10-11, 04:02 PM #13
Superman wears Chuck Norris underoos.
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12-20-11, 03:36 PM #14

"A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
Ben
The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
brought my rifle."
(just stole this one hope you don't mind)

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12-20-11, 04:35 PM #15
Chuck Norris has a Gmail account.
gmail@chucknorris.comThat which does not kill me, better start fucking running.
If I lived every day like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.
I intend to go in harm's way. -John Paul Jones
Hunt the wolf, and bring light to the dark places that others fear to go. LT COL Dave Grossman
I'd be a better people person if I was around better people.
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12-20-11, 04:38 PM #16
That which does not kill me, better start fucking running.
If I lived every day like it was my last, the body count would be staggering.
I intend to go in harm's way. -John Paul Jones
Hunt the wolf, and bring light to the dark places that others fear to go. LT COL Dave Grossman
I'd be a better people person if I was around better people.
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12-20-11, 05:03 PM #17
Chuck Norris once got pulled over by a traffic cop. The traffic cop was lucky to get off with just a warning.

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12-20-11, 05:10 PM #18
Chuck Norris sued NBC for copyright infringement. His legs were already named "Law" and "Order".
The views expressed in the above post are the sole opinion of the author and do not reflect any official position by the author's employer and/or municipality.
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12-22-11, 02:49 PM #19

"A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
Ben
The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
brought my rifle."
(just stole this one hope you don't mind)

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12-29-11, 12:06 PM #20

"A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
Ben
The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
brought my rifle."
(just stole this one hope you don't mind)

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