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  1. #1
    JLK's Avatar
    JLK
    JLK is offline Protecting Those That Can't Protect Themselves
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    Commandments of marriage



    COMMANDMENT 1:

    Marriages are made in heaven. So is thunder and lightning.

    COMMANDMENT 2:

    If you want your wife to listen to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

    COMMANDMENT 3:

    Marriage is grand and divorce is 100 grand.

    COMMANDMENT 4:

    In the first year of marriage the man speaks and the woman listen. In the
    second year the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year of
    marriage they both speak and the neighbors listen.

    COMMANDMENT 5:

    When a man opens the door of his car for his wife you can be sure of one
    thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

    COMMANDMENT 6:

    Marriage is when a man and a woman become as one, The trouble starts when
    they try to decide which one.

    COMMANDMENT 7:

    Before marriage a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you
    said. After marriage he'll fall asleep before you finish.

    COMMANDMENT 8:

    Every man wants a wife who's beautiful, understanding, economical and a good
    cook. But the law only allows for one wife.

    COMMANDMENT 9:

    Marriage is a matter of chemistry. That's why one treats the other like
    toxic waste.

    COMMANDMENT 10:

    A man is incomplete until he's married. After that he's finished.


    The last giggle:

    A man attending the funeral of a friend's wife comments on the stormy
    weather, "
    Yes" the widower says, looking up, "It seems she's already there".



    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
    Ben

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)


    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan



  2. #2
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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    Actually there is only one commandment. "Yes dear." I adhere to it completely.
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


  3. #3
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    There'as a rule at my house that I always get in the last word! Unfortunately, the last word is always,"Yes dear." "lew, you hit the nail on the head!)
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  4. #4
    213th's Avatar
    213th is offline Solipsist
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    THe wife is right, even when she is wrong.
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

  5. #5
    pgg's Avatar
    pgg
    pgg is offline Damnit, I'm hungry again.
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    I'd have to agree with the above 3 posts
    'Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
    delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly
    promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which
    holds forth the proposition that it is entirely
    possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!'

    A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity. Sigmund Freud

  6. #6
    Jks9199 is offline The Reason People Hate Cops & Causer of War
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    I might agree but I have to check if it's OK with my wife first...

  7. #7
    Odd's Avatar
    Odd
    Odd is offline Cosmonaut Trainer
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    Are these commandments known in advance? If not the betrothed should be warned in some subtle way


  8. #8
    JLK's Avatar
    JLK
    JLK is offline Protecting Those That Can't Protect Themselves
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    my father once told me "son, you can either by right or happy"


    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
    Ben

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)


    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan



 

 

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